To Vent or Not

I am not sure how I can go from a post about inspiration to a post about venting but it seems that is what I may do.

I have been told in not such a nice way that I am different.  I don't think I am.  The only thing I am sure about is that I have less patience for people being mean or unsupportive to me.  And I am spending a little time (maybe on a busy week 2 days totalling 4 hours or so away from home) volunteering.  The rectory has really become my happy place.  It is quiet and people are nice to me there.

The only things I am not doing at home as often are cooking dinner and sitting and watching tv with the other people in my house.  Keep in mind I don't usually cook much during the summer anyway and only a few times a week the rest of the year due to other activities. 

I did have a major event in my life take place this year and that has profoundly affected me.  Not that anyone besides my sister understands this.  But people don't like to hear that you are unhappy or miss someone who passed away.  They just want you to act happy.  And for the most part I am happyish but it still affects me.  I feel at peace when I am at church.  I feel closer to my grandfather when I am volunteering at the rectory.  It is something he did and something I don't plan on giving up.  It is something that I can carry on for him and hopefully teach my daughter it is good to give back.  And as it turns out I am getting way more out of it than I am giving which is a great bonus.

This Friday we are having a memorial service for my grandmother-in-law who passed away several years ago but my mother-in-law just recently got her ashes back from California so she can bury them and fulfill her mom's final wishes.   I am hoping and praying I handle it well. 

I guess this was a vent post after all.  Although, there is so much more I would like to complain about I think I will keep myself in check. 

On a fun note, we have had so much excitement at work.  Movie stars and explosions.  I can't wait to see the movie next year!

Inspiration

I am working on gathering responses to a list of interview questions I sent to all of the staff at our parish.  Since I am trying to maintain the parish website and Facebook page I am going to use their answers to post on both of those sites.  Staff bios and information was non-existent before this project.  Plus there are quite a few new faces around. 

Out of about 9 that I sent I have gotten 3 back so far.  And the answers are all so very interesting to me.  Most of them had the same or similar questions to each other except for Fr. and the new principal who is a Sister.  They had extra questions surrounding being a priest or nun.

One of the questions was what do they find inspiring.  And while I thought I may have a small idea of one of the ways this question would be answered I have to admit the actual answers have given me things to think about and have in turned inspired me.

What do you find inspiring?

Sunday - What a Day You Were

Boy am I glad Sunday is over.

What a crazy day for me.  More so than I tried to show but I think I failed to hide my issues.

Let me set the stage...

I agreed to babysit my nearly 9 month old twin nieces a while ago and forgot all about it.  I was reminded about a week or so ago thankfully.  It was the day of our parish picnic.  We were also going to be going to a later mass which meant bringing the babies with us. 

All the places it went wrong...
If I had it to do all over again I would have gone to an early mass sans babies.  They were fine for about the 1st half hour then the oldest decided it was time to scream or talk loudly.  They were mostly happy screams but still very loud.  I walked out with her twice.  She also decided it was a great time to puke all over me, the seat, and the floor during the gospel which meant I missed most of the homily cleaning us up in the bathroom.  Bummer.  Sure wish they were recorded so I could hear the parts I missed but that is another story.

Then we go to the picnic.  It is super hot but we settled in the cafeteria to feed the babies and then us.  I was not too hot at that point.  Until....

My first boyfriend ever.  My "first" ever sat at the table next to us with his family.  All of a sudden I recognized him and I hope and pray he didn't recognize me for oh so many reasons.  I was a nervous wreck already but now my fate was sealed.  And then Father sat next to me which was great but just added to me being self conscious about melting in my seat.  When my nerves get going beyond control my face gets all sweaty and the more I worry about it the worse it is.  Plus it was humid so I could feel my hair curling into a crazy mess which only added to my breakdown.  UGH!

I tried to maintain my composure and I even tried to have some sort of coherent conversation but I fear people could see through me that something was up.  I fed the babies and tried to take care of them.  I didn't eat very much either.

Then we went outside for the face painting, balloon clown, and kids games.  I walked the track for about 20 minutes or more while my daughter got her face painted and a balloon turtle.  The babies were quiet while I walked but again my first bf was at the kids games.  Go away already is all I could think.

We finally leave only to have the babies fall asleep in the car even though I needed to change diapers and get them cleaned up before their parents got back.  That didn't work out either.  They were waiting for us in our driveway and saw what a sad state we all looked like. 

Sunday, you are one day I am glad is over.