In The Window

Let me first say I am very grateful to have a job. And it is a pretty good job too.

My problem lies in the fact that I would love to be a stay at home mom. I keep hoping as time goes by it will get easier but the fact is that it is not even a little bit easier.

My job gives me so much stress. Not because of the work itself (although there are stressful situations sometimes) but because of personal reasons. When I am on vacation or just plain off of work I am more relaxed and laid back. The way I like to be. But when I am working I always feel that I have way more to do than I have time to do it in. And most of all I hate running errands or doing housework when I just want to be playing with Belle.

And speaking of Belle she would like nothing more than for me to be home with her. Even when she has to go to school she wants me to be able to drop her off when school starts and pick her up when it is over. She would be happier to not have to get up by 6:15 every day. Especially when school starts at 8:45.

During the summer I take her 30 minutes round trip out of my way to my sister-in-laws house while I am at work. Gas prices being what they are it is a lot of extra money. Plus I work another 30 minutes away. Cha Ching.

When I drop her off every.single.day she sits in the window with a frown on her face waving bye to me. Every.Single.Day. I know she has fun with her cousins most of the time but still....

As for me... It makes me sad too.

Ideally it would be great if I was able to work from home. Sadly that is not an option for my department. GRRRR