How Did That Happen

My daughter turned 6 on the 16th.

I don't know how that happened. I don't know when that happened.

She is growing up so fast that I can't keep up. She thinks I am crazy when I tell her to slow down a bit.

We had an ice skating party for her on Saturday the 15th and she was allowed to invite a few of her friends. As it turned out our weather decided it would be a good time for a blizzard so I think a few of them decided to stay home. She did have 2 friends come (1 from dance class and the other from her school class). I know Belle had a great time and so did these friends of hers.

I know I had a great time too. I just love to ice skate.

So Happy Birthday my sweet loving and caring girl! I love you more than words.

Birthday Party

This past Saturday we pulled off a surprise 30th birthday party for my little sis. The one I like.

She was totally surprised and had a great time.

Her husband decided to invite my mom (which is ok) but she comes with my littlest sister whom we don't particularly care for. Seems strange you might say? Well not so much if you knew either of us and the roles we played growing up. Often times I had to be the "mom" and she tried to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted whether it was legal or not. She has since had 4 kids with the same "baby daddy" who is no longer around now that she is not milking my grandparents for money.

Her kids are completely out of control. She doesn't work yet they live in a small 2 bedroom mobile home with my mother (who is partially disabled) and she can't even clean a speck. The place is so filthy I refused to let Belle touch anything when we stopped there for about 10 minutes one day over the summer.

So fast forward to December 1st and we are at the party. Surprise party. Do you think they got there on time? No. So they pull in as my other sister, M and her husband are about to pull into their drive way. I wave them away frantically because I will be damned if they were going to ruin the surprise. Once everyone was in and the party is in full swing so were the kids. Her kids were jumping on people, shooting nerflike darts around people, dropping food all over, running up and down the steps, and the list goes on and on. I am not saying Belle was an angel but she sure was not like these kids.

The topper was when they were getting ready to leave and we were all standing in the kitchen. The 3rd child who is almost 3 clearly pooped her pants because a big glob of poop falls on the kitchen floor. I stepped back, threw my hands in the air and called her mom over to clean it up. I was not touching it. She acted like it happens all the time and picked it up with a napkin and threw it in the garbage. I told her it just fell out of her pant leg so she may want to change her. Her response was no that is ok since she was just in the bathroom. Okayyyyyyy.......... I am pretty okay with changing a kids dirty diaper if needed but this was beyond me.

So all in all it was a good party. It just makes me and M wonder how we are related to them. It doesn't seem at all possible.

So Sucks

I am really bummed for my sister. After her second IUI she is not pregnant. Then to add salt to the wounds she is not able to try again this month since her follicles are still enlarged.

Whatever.

I know she will try it one more time but then I think she is going to try to come to terms with the fact that she may never have a baby.

I wish I could just make this better for her. I wish I could just wish her pregnant. I guess if it were that easy she would have been pregnant a long time ago.

It is just hard because the doctors keep telling them that there is nothing physically wrong that is preventing her from getting pregnant. Yet it isn't working.

How do you know when to stop trying? How do you stop wondering? Again I wish I had the answers for her.

Happy Turkey Day

I know I won't be posting tomorrow so I just wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Pregnancy Thoughts

I know I have been a bad blogger lately but I have had so much going on and so much stress that I usually don't know where to begin. I have had a lot things I wanted to blog about but not the time or energy.

But I feel the need to write this down since I am really worried about my sister as I type. She is in the middle of her 2 week wait after her second IUI. She is really really really bloated and had pain on her lower abdomen last night.

She called her doctor who told her to come in right away for an ultrasound. I am worried for her. I know she wants to be pregnant more than anything. I am scared she is not pregnant or worse that something is wrong. She had 4 chances with this cycle so I hope and pray one of those eggs lets the swimmer in.

I hope she is ok. I am going crazy waiting to hear from her.

**update** She just called. I guess her ovaries are enlarged and she is not allowed to exercise and needs to eat light until they are back to normal. This could be from the fertility drugs and she needs to call them back if it doesn't get better. She can take a pregnancy test on 11/25 so I really hope that comes back positive.

Damn Toy Makers

In the latest round of toy recalls is Aquadots. This was a highly coveted item for my daughter and I purchased it a few weeks ago to make sure we had it before the huge holiday rush.

Now it is going back to the store and I will have to break the news that this is not an option.

I am thinking the fact that it turns into the equivalent drug reaction of a date rpe drug is not a good thing for a 5 year old.

What I would really like to know is how do these things happen? And what are we doing about it?

Go Purple for Adoption

Elle had a great idea of using purple for National Adoption Awareness Month.

I am attempting it.

You should too. She has a cool button but I can't get it to work here. :-(

Cancer Free

What wonderful words to hear today.

I talked to my friend's husband who said they removed all of the cancer on the right side during her double mastectomy. There were no cancer cells on the left side. They took 6 lymph nodes and those all came back negative.

She has no other treatments needed other than the reconstruction.

I am so happy for her I cannot even begin to express it.

Updates and a Little Halloween Fun

Thank you for the well wishes and prayers for my friend. She is doing well and the surgery went as expected. They only had to remove 3 lymph nodes and the initial test came back negative. They were sent for pathology and she should get those results this week. I hope she is now cancer free. She ended up staying in the hospital a day longer than she thought but is home now and doing as well as she can.



Last night we decided to carve our pumpkins and if I must say so myself they came out great. We have a disney theme going on but that is how our house is. I ended up carving two of them even though one of them is Belle's. She did help a little bit until she hurt her hand. Let's just say she got a cut on the side of her hand by her pinkie finger the size of a pin head and that put a stop to most carving. She didn't like sticking her hand in the goop but eventually did a little bit.

My husband took the harder one and swears he had it worse than us but I still say mine was more work since I did 2 to his 1.

Can you guess which ones I did and which one he did?

All in all we had a good time with it last night. Tonight we roast the seeds.


update: My husband carved the witch while I carved the castle and cinderella.

Prayers

If you do such things please say a quick prayer for my dear friend who is having her double mastectomy surgery as we speak.

If you don't do prayers at least please send her some good vibes.

I can't think about anything else today. I can't wait until she is out of surgery this evening. They expect it to take about 8 hours.

Damn It

I have been so busy lately I really don't know if I am coming or going. I hate this feeling.

Well to top it all off my poor daughter was probably scarred for life today.

You see it was Kindergarten Grandparents/Special Friends Day at her school. The paper that was sent home last week stated:

Monday, October 22, 2007
9:30-10:30 ADED and AM Kindergarten
12:30-1:30 PM Kindergarten

So my MIL goes at 12:30 after spending a large amount of time on the phone with me this morning trying to figure out how to work my camera.

They tell her that Belle's was this morning at 9:30. They try to see if she can sit in the class for a little while and is told that they aren't really doing anything right now but watching a movie since her teacher is in a meeting.

Of course now I am the bad guy. Apparently ADED stands for all day every day. How am I supposed to automatically know what these abbreviations mean!!!! I do now. Why couldn't they have just put all day. There wouldn't have been this misunderstanding then. GRRRRR

Bad Blogger Cranky Pants

I think this is going to be my new name: Bad Blogger Cranky Pants. Right now they fit well.

I hope I grow out of them soon, though.

I have just been so very busy. I have had no time to think about anything. The mornings have been torture for both me and Belle. Poor girl...

For example in an effort to make sure she gets breakfast before school I have let her pick out a few things from the store such as toaster struedels in the cinnamon roll and apple flavors, mini cinnimon rolls, mini pancakes, etc. Let's just say I had when she refused to eat her pancakes this morning. I told her fine, she could just starve until lunch time, I was no longer going to buy something she says she will eat, etc etc etc. Like I said poor girl. She hardly eats all day long because she barely touches her lunch. She also has choices of oatmeal, cereal, toast and other such things but nothing is easy. I realize that she needs to eat breakfast pretty much as soon as she wakes up but we don't have a choice. They don't allow the kids to eat in the morning Latchkey. She barely gets her sandwich eaten at lunch time since she runs out of time to eat. They do get a snack in the afternoon in her classroom as well as in her after school latchkey services but she is really hungry when she gets home. I am losing my mind over her meals.

Add to this we have had bad car key karma yesterday and today. Yesterday someone my husband works with had to use his keys for a work lock and gave him back his keys with his car key bent in half. How do you bend a key you weren't even supposed to be touching. It wouldn't even turn in the ignition. Then this morning I had to park in a different spot that I didn't realize was on an angle. So I get out of my car, turn myself around to grab my purse and the door closes just enough to click locked.with.my.keys.and.purse.inside. UGH> Thankfully the parking lot attendant was able to get someone to get it open.

I really just needed to go home and climb back in bed to start all over again.

Wow

I can't believe how time flys.

What is new you ask? Ok, maybe you didn't ask.

Belle is loving school. She continues to amaze me on a daily basis. She is learning what they call "no excuse" words which are basically sight words. So far she knows (just after 2 weeks I might add): we, can, I, a, here, have, my, see, the, blue, red, yellow, white, black, purple, pink, orange.
Everyday we are adding new words because she is constantly asking me.

Work is work....

I have a spare bedroom that serves as a spare bedroom on rare occasions but mostly serves as my craft room/catch all room. This room drives me bonkers because it always seems to be in a state of destruction. So I have taken to redoing it. I had already painted it and made new curtains about a year ago. Now I am building a desk/table and shelves. Plus organizing all of my supplies. I would love to be able to just go in there and be able to create without first having to search for stuff. I have the table painted and I have the shelves cut. I need to get finishing nails to attach the moulding to the shelves and then hang them on the walls. I am hoping to have that done this weekend.

My sister just told me that she and her husband are doing the clomid/IUI procedure this month. Please pray for her that this works and they can have a healthy baby.

Well that is all I can think of right now so I guess I will stop rambling.

Oh no....

Conversation with Belle:

Belle: "Mom, I have a boyfriend."

Me: "Really? What is his name?"

Belle: "I don't remember."

Me: "You have a boyfriend but you don't remember his name? How can he be your boyfriend?"

Belle: "He is mom. I just don't remember his name."

Belle: "Oh yeah. His name is Chad."

Me: "What makes him your boyfriend. Did you kiss him?"

Belle: "Nooooo! He said I was his girlfriend."

Me: "Good because you shouldn't be kissing anyone. You are not old enough to do that. So do you just do things together at school?"

Belle: "No."

Me: "Ok."

Sad News

My dearest friend in the whole world just found out yesterday that she has breast cancer.

Please say a prayer for her to overcome this.

What I love about Belle

Last night we are lounging before bedtime and I ask her what is it that Mommy loves about her.

The answers were quite strange since they were not things I usually say.

Her first answer was her legs. I asked her why and her reply was because they were cute. OK.

So then I ask her what else I love about her. Her next reply was her arms. Again because they are cute.

And so it goes with every time I repeat the question she named a different body part. All with the same reason of those parts are cute. You should see how far she carried it.

-legs
-arms
-face
-butt
-boobs

At the last two I began to get scared she may say these things in public. For some reason she is obsessed with butts and boobs. Good thing she isn't a boy. I think that all began because her older cousins would joke with her when she was younger about boobs and what not. Kids are weird.

Anyway, I finally had to ask her what I love about her insides. Her reply was her teeth. Obviously we are not getting to the point I was trying to make with her.

So I had to come out and say it.

"I love your heart because you care about people."

At that point I dropped it. I need to be careful what I ask her these days. Who knows what she will say.

I was already feeling kind of bad that she got hurt on the playground at recess and was crying with no one to give her hugs and kisses. Mommy guilt all the way. She even had to go to the nurse who had her put an ice pack on her forehead. Now she has a nice sized black and blue mark/bump. Poor girl...

Other Drivers Suck

I know it is the other drivers because it couldn't be me. No way. No how.

What I don't understand is why they won't get out of my way.

Why must they cut me off because I have a van.

Why must they mess with me.

Yesterday this woman literally cut me off 3 times and then gave me the finger. This was all on the way in to work. Great way to start my day. Grrrr

This morning people were just slow. I am not saying they need to drive 80mph but the speed limit would be nice. I am not on a leisurely drive when I am headed in to work each day. I just want to get there and then get out.

Am I asking too much people?

Story Teller

It has now been a full week that Belle has been going to school.

She still loves it.

Everyday I have left work a bit early to pick her up at her Latchkey (after school care) earlier than it will be normally. Even with me getting there by 3-3:30 she has a really long day. I drop her off by 7am. Today I have to work until 4pm. I am really not at all thrilled about that.

Everyday I also ask her all about school. What did she do, eat, play, etc. Yesterday she told me that she went across 5 monkey bars on her own (something she has yet been able to do 1 of), she went down a really long pole (picture a fire station), played like she was a princess trapped at the top of the playground by a mean ghost and even told me who the ghost was and who rescued her. She went into details. I didn't think anything of it except that I was extremely surprised she was able to do the monkey bars but hey you never know.

She also told me at first that she stayed on the green on the behaviour stop light in her classroom but later told me that she was on yellow for talking during rest time. She didn't want to say that in front of daddy. She really only confides in me. And yes I love that but that is a whole other story.

She is so wound up after school it takes us awhile to get her to calm down. She is literally bouncing off of the walls. It isn't like she gets all sorts of sweets to get a sugar energy boost.

After dinner last night we were sitting down on the couch because I was trying to get her to calm down and she tells me (and only me) that she made stuff up that she told me. I looked at her and asked her what she made up to which she replies the monkey bars, the pole and the story about the ghost. But she said that the part about the being on the yellow was true.

This really bothered me because I don't want her to feel like she has to have these great accomplishments to tell us everyday. I made her sit on my lap and look at me. She doesn't always like to look you in the face when you are talking to her and I am always stressing that with her. But anyway, she sits on my lap and I tell her that it doesn't matter what she does during the day. Even if it seemed boring. That I am just interested in hearing about her day and what she did. That she doesn't need to make up stories because she thinks we would rather hear that. I also told her that I wanted to be able to believe everything she tells me but if she keeps making up stories that I won't know when to believe her and when not to. So we will see what happens when I get home today. I told her no more telling me made up stories unless she tells me first that it is made up. We.will.see.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a more somber note, it is really difficult for me to go to work on this day. I work in our city's downtown area and I always feel weird about going downtown on 9/11. I can only imagine how people feel in other areas of the country. Especially those who lost someone on that day.

I had to explain briefly to Belle about what happened in case her school recognizes it in some way. I left it very very vague because she doesn't need the details at her age. Not yet. I just told her that some people did a very bad thing to our country which killed a lot of people and now we always remember what happened so that we can try to make sure it doesn't happen again. Don't you know that my dear husband then tried to explain that it is kind of like war but it happened here in our country. I could see the look on her face. I kept trying to tell him enough but no. He just couldn't stop himself from trying to have her really understand how important this is. I even had to pull out the laptop and bring up a map of the country to show her where we live and where NY is. She then wanted to know where other things are at and what the states names were. He kept trying to tell her to pay attention to what we were talking about. And that it didn't just happen there but in other places too. I wanted to scream SHUT UP but I bit my lip. Sometimes he just doesn't get it. Good thing I told him ahead of time that I wasn't going to tell her any details including the fact that they crashed planes. UGH.

Still Here

Ok. This sucks.

Not only have I been an emotional wreck I am now sick.

Yes I am still at work and still emotional but also sick.

The whole runny nose, sneezing, watery eyes, coughing, and as of last night fever thing.

So far this morning no fever but I still feel like crap. Is it Friday yet?

She's Gone

I dropped Belle off at school today.

I waited with her in her line until about 2 minutes until it was time to go in.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I was going to lose it and didn't want to be the only parent standing there crying. Plus I didn't want Belle to see me crying.

She was a bit nervous but mostly excited.

I just want my little girl back.

(tears streaming down my face as I type this)

Is It Over Yet

Is it over yet? Is it Saturday yet? I think I will be fine once the first day of school is here and gone.

Belle got to meet her teacher yesterday and now she is excited to go to school. I know she will feel a bit nervous but she will be ruling the school before I know it. Once she is familiar with a place she likes to walk around like she owns the place. She started doing that a bit yesterday when I was showing her around.

Me on the other hand, I feel nauseous and have had a headache and just generally have a high level of anxiety. For.no.good.reason.

I think I will go eat something so I can take some meds.

Way To Give a Great First Impression

So much for the teacher thinking highly of us or our girl. I know she won't really hold it against Belle but that is what it felt like last night as we were 45 minutes late to our meet the teacher meeting.

UGH

I wrote it on our calendar as 7:00pm. Welllllll, it actually started at 6:00pm. We didn't find this out until we went to go into the classroom thinking we were early but then quickly saw that all the other parents were sitting down and in the asking questions phase at the end.

We waited until it was all done and then apologized profusely and asked her to skim over what she discussed.

I read over the material she handed out at home last night. I think she thought I was a freak because of some of the questions I was asking. It didn't help that my dear husband pointed out how I was questioning what was actually considered a small baggie AT HOME. I wasn't going to point that out.

Oh well. Tomorrow afternoon I take Belle to the school for an assessment and her own personal meet the teacher.

And So It Begins

This is it.

This is the week that school starts. :-(

Parents get to meet the teacher tonight and then I take Belle on Wednesday to meet her teacher.

Then on Friday is her first day of school.

Harry Potter

Done. Finally I am able to talk about it.

I won't blow it for anyone else but I did spoil it for J last night. But in all fairness I asked him first if he wanted to know.

Ok. I am bursting. Who wants to talk about it in the comments? Anyone??

By the way - it was gooooood!

Following

I too have followed in the footsteps layed out before me in order to try to make a little dough.

If you are able please take a moment to click the ads when you visit if you see something interesting.

You know every little bit helps.

Thanks

School Bus Orientation

This morning I had to take Belle to her school bus orientation.

This is phase 2 of the 4 phase Kindergarten orientation.

Whatever.

We went to the school. All of the little kids sat on the floor in the front while all of the parents sat or stood in the back of the little gym.

At first Belle did not want to sit up front by herself so I went up there and kneel ed on the side sort of by her. After a few minutes I mouthed to her that I was going to go in the back and she gave her nod of approval. She was very nervous and scared about going today. I am starting to think she is more and more like me in that I get very nervous when I don't know what to expect.

Anyway...

They went through their whole little production about school bus safety (40 minutes worth) and then they were able to get a cookie, pick out a backpack, and then head outside to go for a bus ride.

What chaos while all of the parents tried to find their kids and then get the cookies and backpacks. I couldn't see Belle anywhere. I was hoping and praying she didn't go outside without me.

She was a good little girl and got her cookie then stood back to try to find me. Once I spotted her I had her come to me and pick a backpack color. These are nothing great but it will be useful on little outings. We already have her official school backpack.

We go outside and I realize it is only the kids getting on the bus. Once again Belle is worried about going by herself but I tell her she will be ok and to go ahead and get in line to get on the bus. She gets on and at first doesn't see any empty seats. I think she didn't want to ask another kid if she could sit with them or didn't know if she could sit with someone else.

She finds an empty seat somewhat towards the back and goes in to the window. I am bummed that I didn't bring my camera. But then I realize my phone has a camera even if it is kind of crappy. I snapped a couple pictures of her tiny little head in the window. I can't see below her chin since she is so small. My baby sitting on the big school bus. Again I almost burst into tears but tried to control myself. I am sure there were others but I wasn't looking around. I didn't want anyone to see the tears in my eyes.

I see Belle start talking with a little girl who sits with her. I later find out that she asked Belle why she has glasses. When Belle starts to tell me this I cringe on the inside and brace myself for what I know is bound to happen at some point-teasing about having glasses. I asked Belle what she told her and she told this little girl that she needed her glasses to see good since her eyes were bad. Bless her little heart this little girl simply said, "OK".

Belle is happy she made a new little friend even though she failed to get her name. This little girl may not be in Belle's class since there are a total of 5 Kindergarten classes but she did wonders for Belle's attitude about going to school.

And the best part of the day is when Belle tells me that she thinks this is going to be a good year because she already made one new friend. Again with the tears in my eyes even as I type this.

And then back to reality(work). On my way into work something falls from the sky and does this to my window.

Yes another crappy cell phone picture but I believe you can still make out that blob in the middle. Yep a nice splintering crack. Damn it.

Lunch Items

Continuing on my ever increasing stress level about kindergarten I have been a crazy person over her lunch.

How will she get there and how will she eat on her own?
How will she not fool around and eat her lunch?
What if she doesn't eat all her lunch and then gets hungry.
Will she have time in the latchkey (before and after school care) before school to eat breakfast?
And so on
And so on
And so on

Add to the fact that on most days we will be packing her lunch it adds to this list:

What will she eat?
Will she get sick of Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches?
Will she eat the fruit I put in there?
Will she only eat her cookie?
What can I put in there?
And so on
And so on
And so on

I am trying to gain so ideas of what to pack for her lunch as well as what I can pack for her breakfast since she will be there at the crack of dawn for an hour and 40 minutes prior to when school starts.

Any ideas?????

So Much Stuff So Little Time

I have so much stuff to do that there is a major backlog at my house. And working, well let's just say it is getting in the way. Although there is the fact that I need the money that working provides so there is always that.

Anyway, my most pressing matters are Kindergarten.

I am so not looking forward to my little baby girl going off into the big world. She is so little and naive. Yet she is so grown up. This time has just flown by. When did she turn 5? How did that happen?

She has gained so much maturity this summer. I am completely awed by the things she comes up with. She can shock me at any given moment. Yet she will constantly sit on my lap. And even as of yesterday she will ask me to do the Rock -a- Baby as she calls it. So I pick her up and rock her back and forth through Rock a bye baby in the tree tops, When the wind blows....

School starts on the 31st for her. She will be going to school all day. All day. From 7am until we get off of work. The actual school hours are closer to 8:30 - 2:30 but she will be there longer. Without any family members with her. No one I know to watch over her. No one I know to be there when she needs someone close to her. It brings tears to my eyes as I type this.

The world is such a scary place. Please world be kind to my girl.

Selling Stuff

So far I am loving Cragslist.

We put something on there on Monday and it was gone Monday night and I had the cash in my hand.

We have something else up now. It isn't going as fast but I think it will also sell.

No fees. No postage.

This is great!

Ahhhh Vacation

Vacations always make me happy.

Whether we do anything or not I love me some vacation time.

We had a great week. The weather was sunny and hot which was perfect for what we had in mind.

We didn't stay 2 nights anywhere which I was a bit bummed about but we did stay overnight at one of the water parks.

We played in the water altogether for the first 4 or 5 days. Then we took it easy for a couple days.

It was so hard getting back to the grind this week. I have had so much work keeping me busy each day and I am still behind.

The nice thing about today so far is that our phones our out at work.

Happy Friday!

Why I Hate People (driving)

It all began (again) yesterday when trying to drive in to work.

It was rainy, yes. But there was no need for every.single.person to drive slower than slow. Ok. Let me rephrase that. About one person spaced every so often in each lane totally mucking up rush hour.

Then they had the nerve to slam on their brakes. Did I mention the rain? The roads are wet and slamming on your brakes does not fare well on wet roads. Thankfully I had enough distance between me and the car in front of me. Although I questioned that when I was forced to slam on mine and nearly hit the car in front of me. I just kept thanking God for putting a little pillow between me and that dumb ass driver who started the whole skidding on wet pavement mess. Actually I thought for sure the person behind me was going to hit me and then push me into the first car. Again thank goodness that didn't happen.

I also like to get into the high speed lane and just drive. We don't have to be driving 80 mph but drive. I really hate to have to switch lanes. But I also refuse to drive 20 mph under the speed limit for no good reason.

For for this morning it was almost a rinse and repeat drive from yesterday without the skidding tires.

I first had a guy yelling at me because I turned into the gas station instead of letting him onto the road. It wasn't a tight squeeze nor was there a lot of traffic backed up to prevent him from getting out right after me. But ok. Whatever.

Then I get just about to work and am getting off of the freeway. The lady in the next lanes decides she would prefer to be in my lane. I honk my horn at her but she proceeds to cut me off to the point of me being right on her bumper because of how she turned. But she also decides she doesn't like how close I was to her so slams on her brakes. WTF!!! Again with the wet roads but I wasn't going fast at all therefore there was no skidding.

And then there are the people who drive in the high speed lane super duper slow. The ones who are supposed to yield while getting on the freeway but feel it is their right to be let in to freeway traffic instead of actually yielding as the signs state (this would be my team leader).

I think I have been driving in rush hour traffic for tooooooooo long.

Breast Cancer

I think most of us think that something so serious would never happen to us. That we are secretly a bit happy when it happens to someone else since that means it didn't happen to us.

But deep down I am sad, scared, and sorry for those that it does happen to. And I pray that it doesn't happen to me. I am terrified of not being here for my daughter someday. And because of this fear I should really take better care of myself. But I seem to have the opposite reaction. That is something that I struggle with and need to find the courage to overcome.

You see there are other moms who have bigger struggles. They need all of the support they can get. They are fighting for their lives against many diseases including breast cancer. Whymommy is in such a fight. She has two beautiful boys who are babies. Really. Her oldest is just about 3 while her youngest is only 6 months old.

Please go over and show her some support. She has just completed her first round of Chemo and it kicked her butt a bit. She is keeping a pretty positive attitude which I am in awe of. She really wants to get the word out about the different kinds of breast cancer so please take a moment to check it out.

Crafty Goodness

They have the sweetest, most adorable items. Please go check them out. You won't be sad.

Vacation Update

Thanks everyone for your comments.

I guess I should clarify a bit. I was really venting in my last post.

My husband does do stuff with us but sometimes it is so hard to get him there. He hangs out with us at home and he will "play" inside mostly. He likes to try to take her fishing but I have to go also for her sake and his. He doesn't have the patience and the know how to talk to her in a way that will not hurt her feelings but still get the point across. I think a lot of that is the fact that he is the youngest of 4 kids and never really had any young children around. His brother has 4 kids who are older than Belle but he never had to care for a younger child for any length of time.

Belle and I do things together all the time. I actually like it that way mostly. For example we are going to the zoo on Saturday morning - just the two of us.

What is really frustrating to me is when he tries to lay down the law like he is the master of the universe. Sometimes I can blow it off and do what we want anyway and other times it just frustrates me.

I don't really want to go on a vacation without him. He actually loved Disney. I was shocked when he brought it up like it was an actual possibility. But in my mind I was also okay with not going on such short notice. When we go again I want to be able to do and get anything that strikes our fancy.

He is going to the other place for one night which wouldn't be his first choice of things to do. I was just bummed it wasn't going to be for 2 nights. He really isn't into anything having to do with the water but he is going to a water park. And then to another outside one near us for the day during our vacation week.

I just know that no matter what Belle and I will have fun. If he wants to miss out then that is on him. He does some stuff with us but I refuse to not let her do something because her parents are duds. What he doesn't get is that having a kid is like getting permission as an adult to act like a kid and just play. Act silly and goofy. Pretend. Draw. Sing and dance. And whatever else strikes your fancy.

Sometimes he is just an old fart who won't move off of his recliner. Boy is he lucky he is blessed with great metabolism.

Vacation

I was so upset about our lack of vacation plans. I am feeling better about it now.

It wasn't the fact that we wouldn't go to Disney even though it was an incredible deal.

It was partially because I wanted to feel like we were really getting away this time even if for 2 nights.

It was the fact that I didn't want to waste my vacation time to do nothing but sit at home.

But it was mainly the fact that it didn't matter what Belle and I wanted to do. It was all about what he wanted or didn't want to do.

For example he refused to drive to Florida. He refused to drive 4 hours from home. He refused to spend 2 nights anywhere. He just didn't want to. So never mind that we did or would.

If he would just loosen up and have fun I think it would kill him. He won't go to the pool. He won't go to the playground. He won't he won't he won't. And sometimes that just really gets to me.

Most of the time I am fine with being the one that plays with Belle. I am the one who takes her anywhere. I am the one who does what seems like everything with or for her.

Thankfully she is a Momma's girl because if she were a daddy's girl and he doesn't like to participate I think I would have to scream.

Dashed

We are supposed to be on vacation in a couple of weeks. I was trying to find something we could do or some place we can go for a few days. We haven't had a vacation away from home in 3 years. The most we have done is stay over night someplace a few times since then.

We got a special for Disney in the mail for a great price. We still have 2 days worth of park tickets from our vacation 3 years ago. The only problem is getting there and coming up with the money in such a short period of time. Sure we could charge it but we really don't want to do that if we don't have to. So my husband makes this seem like a real possibility so we check it out. It is doable if we drive.

He keeps bringing it up. He has us watch our video from the last time we were there. He gets my hopes up even though I keep telling myself there is no way we can do this in such a short period of time. My friend does some research and helps convince me we can do this if we drive.

Last night my husband says he doesn't want to drive so we are not going. So then I ask about this other place for 2 nights and he says he doesn't want to spend that much money there for 2 nights. Maybe 1 night.

This sucks. I am so sad...

I needed a change of scenery.

9 Words and Phrases Women Use

This was an email I just got. And.I.Love.It.


1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F*CK YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

*Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

*Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

Raising Kids

Lauri recently had a post about how much praise is too much for our kids.

The question also arose about whether parents can be their kids friends.

I have some pretty strong feelings about this. Granted Belle is only 5 so time will tell how things work out but these are the things we do in our house.

I do reinforce positive behaviour to a point. I acknowledge if she is doing something well or something that I like. For example, I love walking and holding her hand. I always tell her how much I love that. Sometimes she has no choice but to hold some one's hand (such as crossing the street or walking through a busy parking lot) but other times it is up to her if she wants to.

I have always encouraged her to have her own opinion. There are days that I wish she didn't and would just be a little obedient child but I try to remind myself that this quality will serve her well when she is older. An example is how I hate worms. I don't want to touch them at all. She thinks I am crazy and always tells me that they just tickle. We tease each other about it. And she knows it is OK for her to like them and me not to. That concept has been discussed so she doesn't have to guess if it will be OK for her to disagree.

I have often told Belle that when she is not listening or behaving that it is my job to be the "meanie" as she puts it. My job as her mom is to teach her and keep her safe. That her choices will determine how her day goes. She can choose to be in a good mood and not get into trouble and just have fun or she can choose to have a bad day. But it is her choice. She knows what the consequences are (pretty much).

And most of all I do feel that we can be friends. That I can be her best friend since I will always be behind her no matter what. I have told her and continue to tell her that she can tell me anything. That she never has to be embarrassed in front of me. And there are times when I can tell she doesn't want to tell me something or does feel embarrassed. In those moments I push the issue and kind of make her tell me or do whatever so that I can show her that she truly can be who she is and tell me anything and it will be OK. This is going to be the toughest part I think.

I know all kids don't tell their parents every single thing. I know all kids get into some degree of trouble. That is part of growing up and learning. But I try very hard to make sure Belle knows that at home with me she is safe and free to be whoever she wants to be. There are so many social pressures outside of the home. The home needs to be the safe haven. And we all have bad days and home is where you can let it all out.

I do expect her to respect others and especially her family even while being mad about something and for the most part I allow her to let out her frustrations. I just tell her about it when she is not talking very nicely. She needs to work on her patience and is learning that practice pays off. She is trying the stomping feet thing now and finding it doesn't work to well.

One thing I can be known to waiver on is if I don't really have a good reason for my answer. I don't mind her questioning me for why on something as long as she respects the answer. But if I just didn't feel like it and I don't have a really good answer I may or may not change it. But I also stand by an answer more often than not so she doesn't really argue to get her way.

I find it difficult sometimes when my in laws encourage the different kids to go behind their parents back. This will happen more and more with Belle as she gets older. Right now it happens a lot with my nieces. It is very frustrating to hear about. I don't always agree with the rules they have but I respect their parents having the right to raise their kids as they choose. Thankfully Belle tells me when someone tells her not to tell me something so at least I know about it.

I know all of this is coming out somewhat confusing.

I guess in the end I want my daughter to be a strong, smart, somewhat independent girl who is also my friend. I really hope we can pull this off. I think as long as she knows "who's the boss" and we can still confide in each other we will be able to make this work.

Do you feel that you can be your child's friend and parent? How do you parent your kids?

Tuesday

Tuesday of this week was one of those near perfect days that you just don't want to end.

I got up at my usual 5am and got ready for work. I took Belle to my SIL's house and went to work. (This part is why it was only near perfect)

I left work at 1pm and went and picked up Belle. She was sad because she thought she was going to go to my other SIL's house to swim in her pool but couldn't now. She was happy that I picked her up though.

As we started driving I pulled down the sleeve of my shirt to show her that I had my bathing suit on. Her whole face lit up. I then turned into this public pool of a neighboring city that we pass by every single day and it tortures us because it really is one of the best pools. Slides and a play area for younger kids, big slide for older kids and adults, deep end, basketball area, lap area, and a little kiddie area with fun stuff for them.

She was so happy and excited that we were getting to go because it only happens about once a year that the weather is nice when I don't have to work etc.

We spent 2 hours at the pool in the 94 degree heat just playing. We would have stayed longer but we needed to get to our local pool for her swimming lessons.

Ahhh. If only all days would be so much fun....

My Hair Is A Wreck

Check this out.

It was styled pretty good before I left the house.

I stepped outside. Drove to work. Walked in with my umbrella since it was actually raining.

I just looked in the mirror and this is the curly mess I saw.

Those bangs were pin straight when I left the house.

Sadly this picture isn't as bad as some of my "good" pictures. Maybe I will use it on my profile.

Is it just me or doesn't the title work?

One fish died. I flushed it this morning. I hope the other one is ok when we get home.

Also just wondering if this would seem weird to anyone. As we got to our local pool yesterday evening for Belle's swimming lessons there was an older than me man who was getting ready to leave.

He clearly had been there for the afternoon. He didn't have a shirt on and it wasn't like he was all muscular. But he walked as if to say check me out. He didn't appear to have grey hair but I didn't really look hard.

What struck me as weird is that he was alone and carrying a bottle of tanning oil. You know the kind in the dark brown bottle that can't be mistaken for sunscreen.

Anyway he kind of creeped me out. I am not sure if I automatically assume the worst or if I was simply over reacting. But I swear in this day and age of abuse cases I can't help but to think the negative first to be prepared in the event I am right.

I guess we are not allowed to use the title bar right now. Hmph.

Let me set the scene for you -

I am laying in Belle's bed with her as I usually do as part of her bedtime routine.

She has one arm up above her as she is laying there. The other hand is scratching her raised hand's arm pit.

I say to her, "Whatcha got in there?"

Her reply, "money"

I laughed so hard. Sometimes she just makes me laugh with the things she comes up with.

There's a New Fish In Town

Or two.

Tonight we went and got Belle new goldfish. She picked out an orange one and a black and orange one.

They are small so they both fit in the fish bowl we have.

We also bought a new net to fit the bowl better.

Price of 2 goldfish: 24 cents
Price of net including tax: 1.73

Belle's happiness with her new goldfish: Priceless

Circle of Life

A couple of weeks ago Belle won a goldfish at a local festival. The man who was running the game was actually very generous to her since she technically didn't win it but he gave her one anyway.

My husband was less than thrilled but played along with the whole idea. We went home and put the fish in an actual fish bowl that my mother in law happened to have.

We ran up to the store and bought fish food and tablets to remove the chlorine from our tap water.

We told Belle that it may not live but that we would try our best. After all this fish was sitting in a baggie of water in the hot sun for who knows how long.

Surprisingly the fish made it through the night. And then another.

Before we knew it we had the fish for a couple of weeks.

Sadly the fish lost his fight for life yesterday. While Belle was home with my mother in law. I was at work and she didn't want to have Belle see it so she put the bowl in our spare room until I got home from work.

The fish was swimming and eating in the morning before I left. But my MIL said she put some new water in the bowl since it looked a little cloudy. Not sure if this contributed to the death or not but she kept calling herself a fish murderer yesterday which made me laugh.

When I got home I brought the bowl back out and Belle was excited to be able to feed it. But I was standing in front of it blocking the bowl so she wouldn't see the floating fish. I told her that her goldfish died and that we had to flush him down the toilet. I told her that it was a good fish and that we will miss it. She was sad and crying. I asked her if she just wanted us to take care of it or if she wanted to see it. (I explained that it was just floating in the bowl) She wanted to look and she did. At this point my husband came home and I was asking Belle if she just wanted Daddy to flush it or if she wanted to be a part of it.

We just let Daddy clean it out.

She was fine and only made little comments about how she misses her fish. But she did say that he lived a long time so it is OK.

Kids are funny and sad all at once.

Happy 4th of July

I find myself very grateful on the 4th each year.

I am very grateful to live in a country that allows us to say what we think and give us the freedoms to do what we want within the law.

I am grateful to be able to allow my daughter to grow up believing she can be what she wants if she just tries hard enough.

I am grateful to have great medical care just a stone's throw away should we ever need it.

I am most grateful and appreciative of the sacrifices of our military and their families to allow us our freedoms and to protect us from those who would take them away. They are all truly heroes to each and every one of us.

Friday Funny

OMG

Either I am in a weird mood or these are just way way too funny...

I couldn't figure out how to link them here since they were .wmv files but they were under trunkmonkey.

I will have to see if I can find a way to link it because they are just so funny.

click.click bwah ha ha ha ha ha

Anyway that doesn't make any sense if you don't see trunkmonkeychaperone.

Where Did My Baby Go

My girl is growing up so very fast. She can amaze me every single day.

What is making me a bit sad today is the fact that for the past 4 nights she didn't ask for her story and song when she was going to bed.

Every night since she was an infant I would read her this story and sing her this song and if I didn't she would ask me to. Sometimes I would just try to say goodnight after laying with her in her bed for a few minutes and get up to go. She would always catch me.

This past week she wanted to fall asleep in my bed on Sunday and Monday. When she does that she really doesn't look for her story and song. Sometimes she does but mostly not.

So I thought for sure she would want it on Tuesday when I told her she had to go in her bed. But she was also getting into a wee bit of trouble so I didn't lay down with her. She still didn't ask for it.

OK. Last night she would definitely want her story and song. I lied down next to her. We talked like we usually do. She was holding onto my head so I couldn't get up but no requests other than she didn't want me to go.

I left her to fall asleep and said, "Goodnight, I love you!" which is what I make sure is the last thing she hears before she falls asleep but still no story or song.

So I will read you the little story that I know by heart. It comes from one of the thick and small square board books.

Story: Belle lives in a small village. She loves to read.
Belle finds an old castle in the forest.
Belle makes new friends at the castle.
The Beast lives at the castle too. He thinks Belle is beautiful.
Belle falls in love with the Beast and he becomes a handsome prince.
The End

This story is always immediately followed by the song.

Song: I love you, bushel and a peck. Bushel and a peck.
And a hug around the neck. A hug around the neck.
And a barrel and a heap. A barrel and a heap
And I'm singing in my sleep, I love you.
I love you!

Yes we changed the words a tiny bit but it sounds the same.

Are you all sleepy now? I know I am. I just should have stayed in bed....

Pleated Tote

Thanks to Beki at artsycraftybabe I got to make a cool pleated tote bag. Mine is in no way as cute at hers.

I picked the fabric and cut it out according to her pattern.

It went pretty smoothly. The only mishaps were my own fault for not fully thinking about what I was doing.

It came out pretty good. I wasn't happy with the thread I used because it looked a bit wonky on the underside but other than that I was pretty happy with it. I used one of my grandmothers vintage buttons also.

Belle gave it to her dance teacher on Sunday. She seemed to like it. I hope she did and that she will actually use it.

The Roof

It is finally all said and done.

We had some major drama with the roofing company last week.

They came out to the house on Monday and spent 13 hours there. When they left they had only put the roof on our house. They still had to put up the gutters and put the shingles on our garage. Keep in mind my house is not very big. There was a lot of standing around. But whatever, I wasn't paying them by the hour.

Monday evening before they left one of the guys talked to us and said how they would be back in the morning to finish up. We pointed out some wires that were pulled from the house and the clip used to hold them to the house was broken. He said he would fix the wires after they put up the gutters. OK.

We go to work as usual on Tuesday. I started to get really worried because we were expecting some heavy thunderstorms Tuesday afternoon and evening and if our gutters were not put on then we would be facing some issues with water in our basement. We had also told this to the guy Monday night that we really needed those gutters up before it rained. We didn't hear anything from them during the day on Tuesday at all. My mother in law drove past around 2pm and said that there was nobody there and it looked like our gutters were up in the front but she didn't see the back or the garage.

Next thing I know we get a phone call message around 4:30 Tuesday evening from the roofing company saying that it should all be done and if we could call the office to set up for final payment. Their office is only open until 5pm and I didn't get to call them back before then. They proceeded to call my cell phone a total 10 times (only the first call left a message) and once on my home phone up until 8pm. They also came to our house to collect.

Wednesday morning I called their office and of course got their voice mail and left a somewhat nasty message stating that I did not appreciate them harassing me and they are not to keep calling my phone. The wire isn't even fixed. Plus I will be mailing the payment to them. That I do not want them coming to my house. In the mean time I thought about the inspector from our city. So I call the city and they say they haven't even been called by the roofing company to come and inspect the final work. They can't take it from me-that the call has to come from the company. Now I get a mean voice message from the roofers and they sound pissed at me and just tell me to call them back.

Keep in mind that I take phone calls at work and can't always answer an incoming phone call. I end up getting another message from the roofers stating that the contract states final payment due day of completion and they talked to their attorney and if we do not pay them that night I can expect a call from their attorney the next day.

Now I am so pissed my whole face is red. I go home at lunch and get the contract in front of me so that I can see the actual language. I finally get a chance at work to call them back around 3:30pm and I end up in a shouting match with the owner who happens to be the same guy who talked to us at the house on Monday night. What the hell. He basically just keeps telling me that he wants his money and he doesn't work like this and we didn't deserve to have him as our roofer, etc. I try to point out that all we asked for was to be able to make sure all of the work was done as it was supposed to be done because we don't have a high level of confidence in them due to the issues just trying to get them out to do the work. I told him it was against a federal law to call someone like they were doing and to make false accusations and threats. He didn't want to believe me. He ended up hanging up on me but not before he threatened to come to our house to collect his money with the sheriff.

I called the city back again after about 20 minutes since he claimed he could call right away and get the inspector there that same day. The lady in our city building office was so nice and said that they still hadn't called it in and it doesn't work that way. There was no way the inspector would be able to get to our house that evening.

I go home fully expecting him to show up at our house or do something. He was acting a bit scary.

Nothing happened that night at all.

I had decided the ball was in their court and I wasn't going to call them. But my husband wanted me to big the better person. Whatever. But I did call around 11:30am on Thursday. The lady that was arguing with me and calling me had a different sound to her voice. She still didn't believe their guys broke the wire clip but said if they get the inspector their and all is signed off on and they fix the clip by the next day (Friday) could they pick up their check Friday evening. I told her I actually have a picture of the house before the work and can prove the clip was broken if she needs it but she ignored that fact. I also told her that if they get it signed off on by the city inspector and fix the wire that yes we could make arrangements.

The inspector came Thursday evening while we were at Belle's swimming lessons. My husband said he was told they did a good job. So Friday morning came around and around noon I received a phone message stating the wire was fixed. I had to leave early that day so when I got home we looked it over and it looks fine.

I called and left a message stating we would not be home and the check would be on our back door if they wanted to pick it up but that I wanted something stating they received it and that it was paid in full. They left us another message stating that they will copy the contract and mark the info on their and thank you.

Wow a thank you at the end of it all. All we wanted was to make sure it was all completed as it should have been. Once we got that we paid the balance. I hope we don't have any issues that we need to call them out for in the future under the warranty.

But the roof is done. Thank goodness....

before (note the wires)

after (again note wire lines)

now everyone can sigh thanking the powers that be that you don't have to hear about it anymore.

Yay Me and So Sorry

Last week I won a prize. Me. I never win anything.

A very talented, Greta, was giving away some scrap booking supplies just for de-lurking. Technically I was no longer a lurker on her site but I won anyway.

How cool is that.

The package arrived on Monday. And all I have to say is she has totally outdone herself. This box was chock full of all sorts of goodies.

I promptly laid it all out and took a picture (with my cell phone since that was the only camera around). The picture totally does not show just how beautiful it all was.

Look what she sent.

I can't wait to use everything. Now if I would just finish getting all of my pictures edited and printed I would be in good shape.

Sorry it took me this long to post my gratuitous post, Greta. Sadly I have been having big issues with our roofing contractor.

Too Soon

I spoke too soon yesterday.

I should have known better.

I got home a little after 4pm and the roof wasn't even half way done.

It was all torn off but not too much was put back on.

They were there since 6:50am.

What in the hell were they doing all day.

Yes it was hot. Yes they needed to take breaks. But it looked like they were mostly standing around.

They got more shingles up after we were home than before. It was so hot yesterday that you would think they would have wanted to get it done so that they could get out of the heat.

There was one guy you reminded me of Jar Jar Binks.

He just kept walking around doing nothing but driving me crazy.

We now have no gutters on our house but the shingles are done on the house itself. They need to come back today to put on the gutters and put the shingles on the garage.

All I have to say is that they damn well better get those gutters on my house so that my basement doesn't flood from water coming through the walls since we are supposed to get major storms later today. They better be on first thing this morning. They better be doing it right now.

They better.....

Shhhh

I am almost afraid to post this.

But as we speak my roof should be at least 3/4 of the way done.

Don't say it too loud since they may want to leave my house since it is a toasty and humid 90 degrees today.

But they did take it upon themselves to take water from our hose during the day. My MIL caught them hooking it up when she went to pick up my dog. That really ticks me off though.

It would have been one thing if they would have said that the guys may good water from the hose if that is ok but the fact that it was like they were sneaking it really bugs me. It could be because of all of the grief we have had trying to get them there but still.

Add that to the fact that I am not quite sure where my girl is and who she is with today puts me on edge. My SIL normally watches her but calls me Saturday night to say that she wants to go to a funeral on Monday and that she has one of my niece's friends watching her kids and what did I want to do with Belle. WTF! Well let's see. I just took Friday off. My roof is getting done on Monday so I can't be in the house and my MIL is taking my dog to her house and can't come to our house to watch Belle. Gee I think I will be bringing her over for Morgan to watch her. And to top that off SIL says I need to pay Morgan. Hmmmm-don't I pay you? Shouldn't you pay her? Anyway I put $10 in Belle's bag but I wasn't going to pay top dollar. Morgan isn't looking for a certain amount and I have no idea what the going rate is but she isn't solely watching my child. She is watching Belle plus 2 of my SIL's kids (one of which old enough to babysit on her own so she will probably really be helping) and then the bratty nephew on the other side of the family. I hate to say that about any child but this one is beyond anything I have ever seen first hand. He will be 4 in November and will still smack his mom so hard across the face that you gasp. To that I say hell no. Not.in.my.house.you.don't.

Anyway, once again a kind of crappy but good Monday. Swimming lessons begin tonight so the crazy busy summer begins.

What a Rush

I just won an item on Ebbay.

I was ready with my bid in one browser window and I was watching it in another.

refresh

refresh

refresh like crazy.

Ok. Only a few seconds left. Place bid.

High bidder.

Yippee I won.

**how fun was that**
Ahhhhhhh

This Week

For some reason this week has been getting to me. I am worried about so many things that probably don't need to be worried about.

My allergies have been going crazy and well I just want to get past this.....

Monday Morning Blues

The weather this past weekend was so nice. Perfect even. It was sunny. Warm. and Breezy. Just how I like it. No humidity and not really hot.

Sadly Saturday I didn't get to spend too much time outside, though. But I made up for it on Sunday. I even pulled some weeds.

Me-gardening. That is just unheard of. I hate to weed. I will tolerate planting but then I just want everything to grow beautifully. I think the reason I hate it so much is that is seems to be a never ending project in the summer heat with dirty nasty bugs around.

Anyway, we played with the plants a bit. We had lunch on the patio. Belle played on her swing set after we removed the extremely large spider webs covering it. Why can't the spiders just stick to the stuff made in nature and leave our outside toys alone. Is that too much to ask!

But the big news is that Belle rode her bike almost the whole length of our driveway (which is a decent size) with NO training wheels and NO help. She only stopped because I grabbed the handle bars and pulled her to stop(fall) before she headed straight into the street. She got one small wound on her knee which was pretty good considering she was trying to do this with legs exposed.

She did have a melt down of I can't do this and so on. In my head I was thinking I need to make sure I boost her up because this is one of those lasting moments that can shape her future. She was very frustrated and just was sitting on the ground with her head in her lap half pouting and half crying as her bike lay on the ground next to her. She just kept saying she couldn't do and that she quits. I had her get up and come onto the patio chairs with me. She sat in my lap and I hugged her and asked her if she really wanted to quit. She said no but that she couldn't do it. I reminded her of how she has been trying for a long time to snap her fingers and how if she had quit a long time ago she wouldn't be able to do it today. I told her that to learn something new is hard and can be very frustrating but if she keeps practicing she will get it very soon. I reminded her how well she did riding down the driveway. She seemed to be OK by the time we were done talking but I could also tell she was tired which I know contributed to the melt down. Shortly after a little more on the swing set we went inside for some down time.

Of course I had to take her picture pouting which only made her hide a bit more but that was only before our talk.

Stuff

Man-they lost! But they will win game 2. They have to.

My sister-in-law watches Belle during the day. This has been a good arrangement for us since she was 9 months old and my mom decided she wasn't going to watch her anymore. We pay my SIL (I think pretty well) the same amount every pay check whether she actually watches her or not so that they don't get stuck financially. My SIL really makes out on this deal.

Now I know my girl can be challenging sometimes but really I think she is a pretty good kid. But put her with my SIL's nephew from her side of the family (who is 3) and it is a different story. I think part of it is that Belle likes things to be just so and they should be fair. She likes to get first pick of the toys and so on. Belle doesn't back down when pushed (figuratively or literally) so that creates arguments.

But this little boy is something else. He is unlike any child I have ever heard of or seen. He is truly bad. He knows he is being bad. He is very hyperactive and is just plain crazy. I don't like to say stuff like that about a child. Especially someone else's but this kid......

For example, a very mild example, is while I was just on the phone with SIL I hear him say in the background "I'm gonna kill you". He said this to Belle. SIL makes him apologize and 5 minutes later while I am still on the phone he says it to her again. In my mind I am thinking go get him Belle. Don't take that. But I can't teach her that because I don't want her fighting. But he has been known to hit her across the head with a toy among other physical abuses. He gets in trouble but he really doesn't care. Take something away from him and he truly doesn't care.

I am grateful she is a strong girl who sticks up for herself. But I fear the fights I am going to hear about from school. Maybe not physical fights but verbal.

Add to all of this my husband calls to say he is getting off of work early and he has an attitude. Let's just say a bad attitude. Greeeaaatttt. By the time I get home from work both him and Belle should be good and crabby since he doesn't know how to effectively deal with her sometimes and she is opinionated. I just want to go home to get them separated before they can fight.

Maybe I better stop at the store first and get myself a bell to ring to signal the end of each round.

Tired

I am so tired lately. It is a combination of late night basketball game viewing. Go Team!! (how do you like my super secret team I am rooting for-if you tried really hard you could figure it out but in the interest of safety I won't say it here but I am crazy excited since they are my favorite sport) Plus, just plain old tired.

I need to clean my house.

I need to do things outside.

I need to do my crafty things.

I need to edit my pictures so I can get them off of my camera and actually order prints for my scrapbooks.

I need to edit my videos so my video camera doesn't fill up.

I need to organize better.

I need to eat and exercise better.

I need to get rid of junk lying around the house.

And the list goes on and on. And all I feel like doing is exactly nothing. It has been making me a bad mommy. I don't feel like playing. I don't feel like dancing. I don't feel like going anywhere. I hate that.

Plus I have been just feeling plain old Old. I am sure it has to do with the fact that my niece graduated from high school this past week and just remembering those days of mine. Thinking back to the person I used to be and wondering what happened to her. I used to be fun. I try to be fun now but I don't think I really know how to have fun. Especially with other grown ups. I am fun to Belle but that is about it. And.I.don't.know.why.

Technology

How I wish I understood all that is computer and programming.

I have a hard drive camcorder. I love it except for a few small things.

Mainly, though, it is hard for me to create the dvd's I want to burn. I don't know how to fade in and out from one scene to the next. Let alone add titles and music.

I think I need to get a good burning/dvd creation software. One that will let me easily copy other dvd's and create a new one with all of the cool editing in between.

Anyone have any programs you can recommend?

TV

We need a new TV. We have had our current one for about 8 years.

It blinks a million and one times when you turn it on. Eventually it evens itself out but it takes awhile.

Now once it is turned on it stays on until we go to bed at least on the weekends. During the week we turn it on in the mornings and then again when we get home from work unless someone is there during the day.

What happened to the days when you would have the same TV for 20 years. Or any appliance.

So we have to start researching what is out there. And they are soooooo expensive. It is kind of pointless to get a regular TV at about $600 when you can spend a couple hundred more for a flat panel HD.

But do you get LCD or plasma. And what brand do you get. Are the no name brands just as good? And so on and so on go my questions.

Anyone have any advice? Sadly fixing it is out of the question.

So Very Sleepy

I can't begin to tell you how very sleepy I am.

And my reason.

Basketball.

Watching basketball games until late. Very late. Very much past my bedtime.

Twice this week I went to bed around 12:30am and I get up at 5:00am for work.

What have I been thinking.

But I can't.stop.watching.

All I can say today is (well besides the fact that my roof isn't being done today but I at least know that going in which is a change)

T.G.I.F.

So Discouraged

I haven't felt much like writing anything because frankly my roof has been on my last nerve. After Friday I was promised they would be there Tuesday or Wednesday if the weather was nice. The weather was great yesterday so I figured they would be there. There was no reason for them not to be there.

I made arrangements for my dog once again so he wouldn't be in the house. I call the roofing company around 10am just to check in and had to leave a message. I call back around noon and don't leave a message. Now I am getting suspicious. I call around 1 pm and leave another message. Now I am getting pissed. They changed their voice mail message to say Tuesday May 29th our office hours are 8-5. Still no phone call back.

My sister in law drives past our house around 2:30 and said there is nobody there working on it. WHAT!!

I call the company again and leave a nasty message. I call our sales guy's cell phone and he said he didn't get a phone call back from the office either but he will leave another message on my behalf.

At about 3:56 I got a message on my work phone apologizing but they thought they were coming on Friday and thought I was told that last Friday. That the girl who works in the office is out sick and she is home watching her sick niece.

Now I say if you are going to change your voice mail to that same day but you know there is no one in the office actually taking those calls then why on earth wouldn't you check the messages throughout the day.

I called back again and left another message reiterating the fact that they are about to lose our business.

She called me back at 8:30 last night. I was in the middle of getting Belle to bed so I did not answer it. Now we have to talk about it today.

And unless the weather report changes there is a 50% chance of rain on Friday. So there is a good chance this won't happen on Friday either.

New or Not So Much

I am so frustrated today.

At the end of March we had a price given to us by a roofing company to tear off the existing shingles and put up new. As well as replace our gutters.

We told them that we would be paying with our income tax returns and we would give them our deposit when we received it.

We also told them that we wanted to work to be done the first week of May.

No problem. We can do that. Just let us know when you get your refund money. Etc.

The sales guy gave us "friendly" calls once or twice a week for the three weeks until we got our refund. He then drove to our house the same day we told him and picked up our deposit check.

I have called countless times to get the addresses of houses they have done in certain colors so we could pick a color. That has been like pulling teeth.

The first week of May comes and then goes and we still haven't been given the color references. I keep calling.

We finally get what we are looking for and I call and tell them what color. I ask again about the schedule. I had been told before that they have been really busy because of the rain and winds and people having leaky roofs. I had told them that since ours thankfully wasn't leaking that we are ok with them helping those people but I want to be put on the schedule for the 19th (since originally we were told we had to be there by the sales guy).

I am told they can't do the 19th but they can the week after during the week. I say we won't be home but I am then told we don't need to be. That they do this all the time when people aren't home because of the noise. So I agree a bit reluctantly to be put on the schedule for today May 25th.

I call on Monday of this week to see what time they will be there and how this all works.

I make arrangements to get my dog out of the house for the day so that he doesn't go completely crazy.

Fast forward to this morning at about 9am and I call the roofing company and of course had to leave a message. I say I just want to confirm they are there and wonder if they will still be there when I get off of work, blah blah blah.

I get a phone call back around 9:30 stating they can't do our house today since their job from yesterday ran over and they won't have time today to get to ours. But they promise next Tuesday or Wednesday. UGH>>>>>>

I again voice my frustrations at their scheduling and say that fine put us down but I will have to see if I can make arrangements for my dog again. Keep in mind I was assured on Monday that the only way they wouldn't be at our house is if it rained. It isn't raining! It is quite sunny, in fact.

So the moral of the story is to not be nice and accommodating but to get on the schedule before you hand over any money. I think I am going to ask them to give us some more money off for the hassle. What do you think?

They better be there next week.

Pre-School "Graduation"

Ok. So it wasn't officially a graduation but it may as well have been.

Yesterday I went to work until 9:30 and then drove to her school for her last day of school celebration. And then back to work by 12:00.

It was so cute and I had to choke back the tears more than once.

The teachers had the kids make almost life size pictures of themselves from cut out pieces of construction paper. They painted the pants and shirts to decorate them. They could add stickers if they chose. They had to draw in their faces and glue on yarn hair. They were just adorable. Of course Belle started off the girls with putting nail polish on her picture's finger nails. A couple of others also did it too but Belle was the first girl ever to say she wanted nail polish according to her teacher who was laughing about it.

The kids walked in when their names were called and they shook their teachers hand and they got a certificate.

Then they did a "play" to the book The Seals On The Bus (can't remember who wrote it). There were chairs set up behind a big cutout of a bus that is looked liked the kids decorated with faces in the bus windows. The kids also had masks for each of the animals that were in the story and they would switch out who was sitting in the bus according to the story. Belle was a lamb and did a great job. Then at the end all of the kids were standing behind the bus pretending to be the people on the bus screaming. It was really cute.

They also sang a couple of songs, brought us pieces of cake that they frosted and decorated.

We took pictures with her friends and her teachers and I just wanted to cry. She is growing up so fast......

Yay Me

Ok. Now that I have done it and found that it is really quite easy I am ashamed to say this but....



I figured out how to put a personal type picture on my header. It is way big and needs some tweaking but there is something there that isn't so plain...


Yay.

And who doesn't love a pretty sparkly tiara?????

Finished

Here is the picture of the finished felted bag. It isn't a great picture but hopefully you can get the idea.

Other than this I have got nothing at the moment. Too sleepy from watching basketball and 24 until late last night. Too bad I don't like coffee.....

Where Has The Time Gone

I can't believe it is Monday again so soon. I feel like I am drowning under an ever growing to-d0 list.

My knitted bag is done, felted, and put together. I had taken pictures of it but forgot to get them off of my camera. I will post a picture soon.

I have been trying to teach Belle how to ride her bike without her training wheels. That has been interesting. I can run along side her well enough but my back can't take being bent over that far for that long. And to ask daddy to help was a big mistake. He wanted her to do things his way and when they didn't happen for on half of our driveway he walked away. She was bummed so her and I picked up where we left off. I will just continue to work with her. After her fall and her badly scraped knee she is leery of hurting herself right now.

This is Belle's last week of school. Bye bye pre-school. You have been good to us. We made some presents for her teachers which she will give them on Wednesday, her last day. So far we made pipe cleaner and pom pom flowers in a pot. Of course the directions said that hot glue was the best to use so I pulled out my hot glue gun and we proceeded. Friday night I burned my thumb. Man did that hurt. Then on Saturday Belle burned the tip of her little finger. She was dropping pom poms into the pot and decided for whatever reason she wanted to push one down and ended up getting the glue on her finger. This of course was excuse for whining all day long. Some justifiably and some just fluff whining. On Sunday we put her hand prints on a canvas bag in the shape of a heart. She took fabric markers and wrote I love you on top of the heart and the teacher's name at the bottom. On the other side I had scanned a copy of her self portrait she drew in school and printed it on transfer paper. I then ironed that on. Tonight she needs to writer her name and the year on the back as well as spray the whole thing with glitter spray so that it can dry for 24 hours before we give it to them. I think I will also have her make them bracelets, too.

We have her second to last soccer game tonight and our usual Monday type clean up. There is a little girl on her soccer team that we exchanged phone numbers with so that they can get together to play some time. I have never done a formal play date so this is all new to me. I just wish I had tons of free time so that it wouldn't matter when they called. I also wish my house were always clean and organized so that we could host the play date at a drop of the hat. Since I want to be the house where the kids all go instead of her going to other kids houses as she grows up I had better get my act together.

Anyway, busy at work as well so I had better get a move on.

Happy Monday-yeah right. Is it Friday yet?