Thursday, July 26

Why I Hate People (driving)

It all began (again) yesterday when trying to drive in to work.

It was rainy, yes. But there was no need for every.single.person to drive slower than slow. Ok. Let me rephrase that. About one person spaced every so often in each lane totally mucking up rush hour.

Then they had the nerve to slam on their brakes. Did I mention the rain? The roads are wet and slamming on your brakes does not fare well on wet roads. Thankfully I had enough distance between me and the car in front of me. Although I questioned that when I was forced to slam on mine and nearly hit the car in front of me. I just kept thanking God for putting a little pillow between me and that dumb ass driver who started the whole skidding on wet pavement mess. Actually I thought for sure the person behind me was going to hit me and then push me into the first car. Again thank goodness that didn't happen.

I also like to get into the high speed lane and just drive. We don't have to be driving 80 mph but drive. I really hate to have to switch lanes. But I also refuse to drive 20 mph under the speed limit for no good reason.

For for this morning it was almost a rinse and repeat drive from yesterday without the skidding tires.

I first had a guy yelling at me because I turned into the gas station instead of letting him onto the road. It wasn't a tight squeeze nor was there a lot of traffic backed up to prevent him from getting out right after me. But ok. Whatever.

Then I get just about to work and am getting off of the freeway. The lady in the next lanes decides she would prefer to be in my lane. I honk my horn at her but she proceeds to cut me off to the point of me being right on her bumper because of how she turned. But she also decides she doesn't like how close I was to her so slams on her brakes. WTF!!! Again with the wet roads but I wasn't going fast at all therefore there was no skidding.

And then there are the people who drive in the high speed lane super duper slow. The ones who are supposed to yield while getting on the freeway but feel it is their right to be let in to freeway traffic instead of actually yielding as the signs state (this would be my team leader).

I think I have been driving in rush hour traffic for tooooooooo long.

Tuesday, July 24

Breast Cancer

I think most of us think that something so serious would never happen to us. That we are secretly a bit happy when it happens to someone else since that means it didn't happen to us.

But deep down I am sad, scared, and sorry for those that it does happen to. And I pray that it doesn't happen to me. I am terrified of not being here for my daughter someday. And because of this fear I should really take better care of myself. But I seem to have the opposite reaction. That is something that I struggle with and need to find the courage to overcome.

You see there are other moms who have bigger struggles. They need all of the support they can get. They are fighting for their lives against many diseases including breast cancer. Whymommy is in such a fight. She has two beautiful boys who are babies. Really. Her oldest is just about 3 while her youngest is only 6 months old.

Please go over and show her some support. She has just completed her first round of Chemo and it kicked her butt a bit. She is keeping a pretty positive attitude which I am in awe of. She really wants to get the word out about the different kinds of breast cancer so please take a moment to check it out.

Friday, July 20

Crafty Goodness

They have the sweetest, most adorable items. Please go check them out. You won't be sad.

Thursday, July 19

Vacation Update

Thanks everyone for your comments.

I guess I should clarify a bit. I was really venting in my last post.

My husband does do stuff with us but sometimes it is so hard to get him there. He hangs out with us at home and he will "play" inside mostly. He likes to try to take her fishing but I have to go also for her sake and his. He doesn't have the patience and the know how to talk to her in a way that will not hurt her feelings but still get the point across. I think a lot of that is the fact that he is the youngest of 4 kids and never really had any young children around. His brother has 4 kids who are older than Belle but he never had to care for a younger child for any length of time.

Belle and I do things together all the time. I actually like it that way mostly. For example we are going to the zoo on Saturday morning - just the two of us.

What is really frustrating to me is when he tries to lay down the law like he is the master of the universe. Sometimes I can blow it off and do what we want anyway and other times it just frustrates me.

I don't really want to go on a vacation without him. He actually loved Disney. I was shocked when he brought it up like it was an actual possibility. But in my mind I was also okay with not going on such short notice. When we go again I want to be able to do and get anything that strikes our fancy.

He is going to the other place for one night which wouldn't be his first choice of things to do. I was just bummed it wasn't going to be for 2 nights. He really isn't into anything having to do with the water but he is going to a water park. And then to another outside one near us for the day during our vacation week.

I just know that no matter what Belle and I will have fun. If he wants to miss out then that is on him. He does some stuff with us but I refuse to not let her do something because her parents are duds. What he doesn't get is that having a kid is like getting permission as an adult to act like a kid and just play. Act silly and goofy. Pretend. Draw. Sing and dance. And whatever else strikes your fancy.

Sometimes he is just an old fart who won't move off of his recliner. Boy is he lucky he is blessed with great metabolism.

Wednesday, July 18


I was so upset about our lack of vacation plans. I am feeling better about it now.

It wasn't the fact that we wouldn't go to Disney even though it was an incredible deal.

It was partially because I wanted to feel like we were really getting away this time even if for 2 nights.

It was the fact that I didn't want to waste my vacation time to do nothing but sit at home.

But it was mainly the fact that it didn't matter what Belle and I wanted to do. It was all about what he wanted or didn't want to do.

For example he refused to drive to Florida. He refused to drive 4 hours from home. He refused to spend 2 nights anywhere. He just didn't want to. So never mind that we did or would.

If he would just loosen up and have fun I think it would kill him. He won't go to the pool. He won't go to the playground. He won't he won't he won't. And sometimes that just really gets to me.

Most of the time I am fine with being the one that plays with Belle. I am the one who takes her anywhere. I am the one who does what seems like everything with or for her.

Thankfully she is a Momma's girl because if she were a daddy's girl and he doesn't like to participate I think I would have to scream.

Tuesday, July 17


We are supposed to be on vacation in a couple of weeks. I was trying to find something we could do or some place we can go for a few days. We haven't had a vacation away from home in 3 years. The most we have done is stay over night someplace a few times since then.

We got a special for Disney in the mail for a great price. We still have 2 days worth of park tickets from our vacation 3 years ago. The only problem is getting there and coming up with the money in such a short period of time. Sure we could charge it but we really don't want to do that if we don't have to. So my husband makes this seem like a real possibility so we check it out. It is doable if we drive.

He keeps bringing it up. He has us watch our video from the last time we were there. He gets my hopes up even though I keep telling myself there is no way we can do this in such a short period of time. My friend does some research and helps convince me we can do this if we drive.

Last night my husband says he doesn't want to drive so we are not going. So then I ask about this other place for 2 nights and he says he doesn't want to spend that much money there for 2 nights. Maybe 1 night.

This sucks. I am so sad...

I needed a change of scenery.

Friday, July 13

9 Words and Phrases Women Use

This was an email I just got. And.I.Love.It.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F*CK YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

*Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

*Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

Raising Kids

Lauri recently had a post about how much praise is too much for our kids.

The question also arose about whether parents can be their kids friends.

I have some pretty strong feelings about this. Granted Belle is only 5 so time will tell how things work out but these are the things we do in our house.

I do reinforce positive behaviour to a point. I acknowledge if she is doing something well or something that I like. For example, I love walking and holding her hand. I always tell her how much I love that. Sometimes she has no choice but to hold some one's hand (such as crossing the street or walking through a busy parking lot) but other times it is up to her if she wants to.

I have always encouraged her to have her own opinion. There are days that I wish she didn't and would just be a little obedient child but I try to remind myself that this quality will serve her well when she is older. An example is how I hate worms. I don't want to touch them at all. She thinks I am crazy and always tells me that they just tickle. We tease each other about it. And she knows it is OK for her to like them and me not to. That concept has been discussed so she doesn't have to guess if it will be OK for her to disagree.

I have often told Belle that when she is not listening or behaving that it is my job to be the "meanie" as she puts it. My job as her mom is to teach her and keep her safe. That her choices will determine how her day goes. She can choose to be in a good mood and not get into trouble and just have fun or she can choose to have a bad day. But it is her choice. She knows what the consequences are (pretty much).

And most of all I do feel that we can be friends. That I can be her best friend since I will always be behind her no matter what. I have told her and continue to tell her that she can tell me anything. That she never has to be embarrassed in front of me. And there are times when I can tell she doesn't want to tell me something or does feel embarrassed. In those moments I push the issue and kind of make her tell me or do whatever so that I can show her that she truly can be who she is and tell me anything and it will be OK. This is going to be the toughest part I think.

I know all kids don't tell their parents every single thing. I know all kids get into some degree of trouble. That is part of growing up and learning. But I try very hard to make sure Belle knows that at home with me she is safe and free to be whoever she wants to be. There are so many social pressures outside of the home. The home needs to be the safe haven. And we all have bad days and home is where you can let it all out.

I do expect her to respect others and especially her family even while being mad about something and for the most part I allow her to let out her frustrations. I just tell her about it when she is not talking very nicely. She needs to work on her patience and is learning that practice pays off. She is trying the stomping feet thing now and finding it doesn't work to well.

One thing I can be known to waiver on is if I don't really have a good reason for my answer. I don't mind her questioning me for why on something as long as she respects the answer. But if I just didn't feel like it and I don't have a really good answer I may or may not change it. But I also stand by an answer more often than not so she doesn't really argue to get her way.

I find it difficult sometimes when my in laws encourage the different kids to go behind their parents back. This will happen more and more with Belle as she gets older. Right now it happens a lot with my nieces. It is very frustrating to hear about. I don't always agree with the rules they have but I respect their parents having the right to raise their kids as they choose. Thankfully Belle tells me when someone tells her not to tell me something so at least I know about it.

I know all of this is coming out somewhat confusing.

I guess in the end I want my daughter to be a strong, smart, somewhat independent girl who is also my friend. I really hope we can pull this off. I think as long as she knows "who's the boss" and we can still confide in each other we will be able to make this work.

Do you feel that you can be your child's friend and parent? How do you parent your kids?

Thursday, July 12


Tuesday of this week was one of those near perfect days that you just don't want to end.

I got up at my usual 5am and got ready for work. I took Belle to my SIL's house and went to work. (This part is why it was only near perfect)

I left work at 1pm and went and picked up Belle. She was sad because she thought she was going to go to my other SIL's house to swim in her pool but couldn't now. She was happy that I picked her up though.

As we started driving I pulled down the sleeve of my shirt to show her that I had my bathing suit on. Her whole face lit up. I then turned into this public pool of a neighboring city that we pass by every single day and it tortures us because it really is one of the best pools. Slides and a play area for younger kids, big slide for older kids and adults, deep end, basketball area, lap area, and a little kiddie area with fun stuff for them.

She was so happy and excited that we were getting to go because it only happens about once a year that the weather is nice when I don't have to work etc.

We spent 2 hours at the pool in the 94 degree heat just playing. We would have stayed longer but we needed to get to our local pool for her swimming lessons.

Ahhh. If only all days would be so much fun....

Wednesday, July 11

My Hair Is A Wreck

Check this out.

It was styled pretty good before I left the house.

I stepped outside. Drove to work. Walked in with my umbrella since it was actually raining.

I just looked in the mirror and this is the curly mess I saw.

Those bangs were pin straight when I left the house.

Sadly this picture isn't as bad as some of my "good" pictures. Maybe I will use it on my profile.

Tuesday, July 10

Is it just me or doesn't the title work?

One fish died. I flushed it this morning. I hope the other one is ok when we get home.

Also just wondering if this would seem weird to anyone. As we got to our local pool yesterday evening for Belle's swimming lessons there was an older than me man who was getting ready to leave.

He clearly had been there for the afternoon. He didn't have a shirt on and it wasn't like he was all muscular. But he walked as if to say check me out. He didn't appear to have grey hair but I didn't really look hard.

What struck me as weird is that he was alone and carrying a bottle of tanning oil. You know the kind in the dark brown bottle that can't be mistaken for sunscreen.

Anyway he kind of creeped me out. I am not sure if I automatically assume the worst or if I was simply over reacting. But I swear in this day and age of abuse cases I can't help but to think the negative first to be prepared in the event I am right.

Monday, July 9

I guess we are not allowed to use the title bar right now. Hmph.

Let me set the scene for you -

I am laying in Belle's bed with her as I usually do as part of her bedtime routine.

She has one arm up above her as she is laying there. The other hand is scratching her raised hand's arm pit.

I say to her, "Whatcha got in there?"

Her reply, "money"

I laughed so hard. Sometimes she just makes me laugh with the things she comes up with.

Saturday, July 7

There's a New Fish In Town

Or two.

Tonight we went and got Belle new goldfish. She picked out an orange one and a black and orange one.

They are small so they both fit in the fish bowl we have.

We also bought a new net to fit the bowl better.

Price of 2 goldfish: 24 cents
Price of net including tax: 1.73

Belle's happiness with her new goldfish: Priceless

Friday, July 6

Circle of Life

A couple of weeks ago Belle won a goldfish at a local festival. The man who was running the game was actually very generous to her since she technically didn't win it but he gave her one anyway.

My husband was less than thrilled but played along with the whole idea. We went home and put the fish in an actual fish bowl that my mother in law happened to have.

We ran up to the store and bought fish food and tablets to remove the chlorine from our tap water.

We told Belle that it may not live but that we would try our best. After all this fish was sitting in a baggie of water in the hot sun for who knows how long.

Surprisingly the fish made it through the night. And then another.

Before we knew it we had the fish for a couple of weeks.

Sadly the fish lost his fight for life yesterday. While Belle was home with my mother in law. I was at work and she didn't want to have Belle see it so she put the bowl in our spare room until I got home from work.

The fish was swimming and eating in the morning before I left. But my MIL said she put some new water in the bowl since it looked a little cloudy. Not sure if this contributed to the death or not but she kept calling herself a fish murderer yesterday which made me laugh.

When I got home I brought the bowl back out and Belle was excited to be able to feed it. But I was standing in front of it blocking the bowl so she wouldn't see the floating fish. I told her that her goldfish died and that we had to flush him down the toilet. I told her that it was a good fish and that we will miss it. She was sad and crying. I asked her if she just wanted us to take care of it or if she wanted to see it. (I explained that it was just floating in the bowl) She wanted to look and she did. At this point my husband came home and I was asking Belle if she just wanted Daddy to flush it or if she wanted to be a part of it.

We just let Daddy clean it out.

She was fine and only made little comments about how she misses her fish. But she did say that he lived a long time so it is OK.

Kids are funny and sad all at once.

Thursday, July 5

Happy 4th of July

I find myself very grateful on the 4th each year.

I am very grateful to live in a country that allows us to say what we think and give us the freedoms to do what we want within the law.

I am grateful to be able to allow my daughter to grow up believing she can be what she wants if she just tries hard enough.

I am grateful to have great medical care just a stone's throw away should we ever need it.

I am most grateful and appreciative of the sacrifices of our military and their families to allow us our freedoms and to protect us from those who would take them away. They are all truly heroes to each and every one of us.