Sometimes People....

Did you ever notice that when you are happy there are people who don't like that? 

Or people who can take something pure and innocent and twist it until it looks ugly?

I just don't get that.  I do get when people are just trying to poke fun at you for something but that is the extent it.

But to act jealous of time spent at the church/rectory?  Really!! 

What would you rather I do?  I am not here to be at your beck and call.  Especially since you are not trying to do anything with us.  When during the week all you want is your dinner and to sit and watch TV and go to bed before 8pm. 

Just because I am trying to lose weight and actually succeeding a little bit that doesn't have anything to do with my interactions with certain people.  And now that others know about this fact don't throw it in my face.  This is why I didn't tell some people about my trying to lose weight in the first place.  They can be too judgemental.  I should be able to tell others anything and everything but they make it so difficult sometimes.

I don't plan on changing anything I am doing.  Others will have to learn to accept it or join in because what I am doing is good and helpful and doesn't take away from others.

I am going to keep to my personal motto of Do More, Be More; Do Better, Be Better.

(Sorry for a bit of code in this but I was trying to not call out certain people just in case.  Not that most of my real life people even know about this little blog anyway.)

Good Christian

I am struggling to be a good Christian today.  I am really really trying to be the better person but it is really hard.

You see when one of the most important people in my life passed away in Feb. I was very sad.  I am very sad.  It was and still is extremely difficult for me to talk about my grandfather being gone.  Even writing this now I want to cry and not believe that he is actually gone. 

We have a typical way of knowing when a loved one of a co-worker passes away around work.  Usually an email will be sent to the department and that person's address given in case anyone wants to send a card.  I found out when I returned to work after being gone a week that this was not done for me.  Out of 30 people maybe only 4 knew what happened.  My team leader didn't feel the need to share this information with the department.  That hurt.  She also felt it was appropriate to not inquire with me when the funeral arrangements were.  Again that hurt that she cared so little.  But the kicker was she kept text messaging me about work all week, including while I was at the funeral.  That was annoying.  It was so hypocritical.  When her brother passed away a couple years ago I went to the funeral on a Saturday.  Yet she couldn't be bothered to make an appearance at my grandfather's which was right around the corner from our office on a weekday.  She could have literally walked there if she wanted to.  Needless to say all of this still hurts.

Now another member of our team had her mother-in-law pass away this week.  And all my team leader keeps doing is harassing me to find out the details so she can share with everyone.  And emailing this woman about work.  All I want to do is scream.  I want to tell her how rude that is for all of the reasons above and the last thing one of us wants to be doing is answering her emails/texts while planning and attending a funeral of a loved one.  But I can't say that to her because I don't want to take anything away from my friend's mother-in-laws funeral and grieving. 

So I am struggling to be the better person and just keep my mouth shut.  Wish me luck.

This Week

This has been a crazy week and it is only Wednesday. 

First the world was going to end but thankfully didn't. 

Then I heard another story about praying the g-y away which was using references from Exodus. 

So many bible references that seem so misguided.  I guess you can read anything and put your own spin on it.  But I don't think these stories are helping us catholics in any way.

Then I look and sound a bit like an idiot for a few minutes Monday evening at the rectory.  I should have known better than to rush to get there and expect my thoughts to make any sense before I take a moment to breath.  And then the more I couldn't think the more my nerves got the better of me.  Plus it was very humid out which is never good for my psyche or my curly hair.  All in all it was ugly for about 10 minutes before I gave up and went to my official meeting.  There I relaxed and sounded more intelligent anyway.

There have been big attitudes at my house.  I am tired of someone being mad at me for volunteering.  For me not being there at his beck and call for a few hours a week.  What makes it really ridiculous is when I get home it isn't like they really needed anything.  They should be able to handle a few hours on their own.  I don't care too much that he doesn't like me spending time on other things because he is gone just about every Saturday 9 months out of the year.  I just needed to get this out so I can let it go this week.

I am stressing a bit about the summer.  And child care.  It is set up with my sister-in-law and nieces but it is never easy.

I am also sad about Sister and the other woman leaving our church this week.

I am frustrated with the situation my sister finds herself in and the fact that I can't really fix it.  No one can but her and her husband.  If he would ever grow up.

I didn't mean for this to turn into such a venting post but I guess I am kind of crabby and I don't like when I am like that.  So hopefully after putting this all out there I can move on.  I just hope we don't have a guest priest this Sunday.  I need our Father's mass to put me right back in the correct frame of mind.