Wednesday, June 29

Sometimes People....

Did you ever notice that when you are happy there are people who don't like that? 

Or people who can take something pure and innocent and twist it until it looks ugly?

I just don't get that.  I do get when people are just trying to poke fun at you for something but that is the extent it.

But to act jealous of time spent at the church/rectory?  Really!! 

What would you rather I do?  I am not here to be at your beck and call.  Especially since you are not trying to do anything with us.  When during the week all you want is your dinner and to sit and watch TV and go to bed before 8pm. 

Just because I am trying to lose weight and actually succeeding a little bit that doesn't have anything to do with my interactions with certain people.  And now that others know about this fact don't throw it in my face.  This is why I didn't tell some people about my trying to lose weight in the first place.  They can be too judgemental.  I should be able to tell others anything and everything but they make it so difficult sometimes.

I don't plan on changing anything I am doing.  Others will have to learn to accept it or join in because what I am doing is good and helpful and doesn't take away from others.

I am going to keep to my personal motto of Do More, Be More; Do Better, Be Better.

(Sorry for a bit of code in this but I was trying to not call out certain people just in case.  Not that most of my real life people even know about this little blog anyway.)

Friday, June 24


Have you ever done something expecting nothing in return? 

But got everything in return?

That is how I am feeling about helping our church. 

I want to do more and more and I want nothing in return.

One thing I am gaining is new friends.  And people I genuinely like.  People I would love to just sit around, talk to and get to know better.

We did a little bit of that talking yesterday and I had so much fun!!!!

And more than anything I am gaining some pure undiluted joy!

Wednesday, June 22

Worlds Collide

Let's just say I don't look like I did when I was in high school.  While I probably never would have said I looked great I can definitely say I looked wayyyyy better then.  Now I need to lose some weight and I look older (obviously). 

I didn't really keep in touch with anyone from that time in my life.  I wasn't exactly an angel back then.  I drank, stayed out all night, snuck out of the house, and generally just liked to have a lot of fun.  By today's standards of a bad kid I was nothing.  And really I didn't get into any trouble but those that hung out with me knew.

Over the past year or maybe not quite that long, I have been seeing this man at church.  One day it dawned on me who he was.  He is someone who was part of our "group" that worked, went out drinking and dancing, and stayed out all night with us.  He went to an all boys catholic school as did my then boyfriend who also worked with us.  We all hung out every weekend.  I have also seen my high school boyfriend's mom at church on occasion.  I think they are now at our parish after the mergers took place because I never remember seeing them before.

And I have kept my mouth shut.  I have not said hello or anything.  For me it is too embarrassing since I do not look good as well as the fact that we were a bit crazy back then and now we are coming into contact at church no less.

Since I have been doing work at the rectory Fr. had to pass my name to this man so he can forward me information from the council that needs to be posted to the website.  Now that we have to deal directly with each other I felt I better fess up.  So I did via email yesterday.  He has not noticed me nor do I think he would recognize me.  But he wants me to say hello one day at mass.  I am hoping he is not still friends with my then boyfriend because that would just be too much.

How do I get myself into these situations.....   :-)

Tuesday, June 14

Taking a Moment

Sorry, taking a moment. 

I came down with a cold and this is a crazy busy week for me so I am taking a moment before posting again next week.

Thursday, June 9

Prayers Answered

Did you ever pray for something and either feel like your prayers were answered or ignored?

There are so many things I pray for on a daily basis.  From general things like, "please God, keep me and my family healthy" to specific things like, "please God, let the air conditioning be working today".

Of course there is always the, "please God, let me win enough money on the lottery to not have to work".

But for every please God request I always send up a "thank you God for always answering my prayers and taking care of me". 

While he hasn't granted the lottery request, he does seem to answer all of my other prayers.  Not always exactly when I want them to happen such as the prayer for my sister to get pregnant. 

But they are always answered in God's time.

Monday, June 6

This Week's Homily

God works in mysterious ways. 

And I heard him loud and clear at mass yesterday.

Father said many things during his homily yesterday but there were portions that seemed as if he was talking directly to me.  While he didn't know what I was struggling with last week it was as if he did.  So strange and freaky.  Funny thing is this isn't the first time this has happened.

He was talking about how we need to turn the other cheek.  And how sometimes we need to do it more than once.  And how we all have the ability to respond with kindness even when it may not be deserved.  He talked about being the better person.

Was that tailor made for me or what.  lol

So I will be the better person and not say a word to this other person.  I may not have the respect for her she thinks I have but she will not know that fact.  I will go with the rule if I don't have anything nice to say I won't say anything at all.

Wednesday, June 1

Good Christian

I am struggling to be a good Christian today.  I am really really trying to be the better person but it is really hard.

You see when one of the most important people in my life passed away in Feb. I was very sad.  I am very sad.  It was and still is extremely difficult for me to talk about my grandfather being gone.  Even writing this now I want to cry and not believe that he is actually gone. 

We have a typical way of knowing when a loved one of a co-worker passes away around work.  Usually an email will be sent to the department and that person's address given in case anyone wants to send a card.  I found out when I returned to work after being gone a week that this was not done for me.  Out of 30 people maybe only 4 knew what happened.  My team leader didn't feel the need to share this information with the department.  That hurt.  She also felt it was appropriate to not inquire with me when the funeral arrangements were.  Again that hurt that she cared so little.  But the kicker was she kept text messaging me about work all week, including while I was at the funeral.  That was annoying.  It was so hypocritical.  When her brother passed away a couple years ago I went to the funeral on a Saturday.  Yet she couldn't be bothered to make an appearance at my grandfather's which was right around the corner from our office on a weekday.  She could have literally walked there if she wanted to.  Needless to say all of this still hurts.

Now another member of our team had her mother-in-law pass away this week.  And all my team leader keeps doing is harassing me to find out the details so she can share with everyone.  And emailing this woman about work.  All I want to do is scream.  I want to tell her how rude that is for all of the reasons above and the last thing one of us wants to be doing is answering her emails/texts while planning and attending a funeral of a loved one.  But I can't say that to her because I don't want to take anything away from my friend's mother-in-laws funeral and grieving. 

So I am struggling to be the better person and just keep my mouth shut.  Wish me luck.