Once again I can't believe how long it has been since the last time I posted anything here. Almost a year is simply crazy. I hope I will post more often since I have a focus for my posts more than ever. I may still post about cakes or other such life stuff but I think my main posts will be about what I am learning about being Catholic and why now.
It won't be preachy but more my very personal thoughts that I can't say to those I know in real life because they don't understand. I don't know if anyone will ever really understand but I just needed an outlet for these thoughts even if no one reads them.
As a lot of places across the country have seen this past year there has been a lot of change in our church. Some parishes have closed while others have merged. And to top it all off the pastors have all been moved around.
I have been going to my church off and on since we discovered it 10 years ago. We were welcomed with open arms at this parish and went consistently until my daughter was too loud and fidgety. Once we were out of the habit it was difficult to start back up 3 years ago. But we did and I am so grateful for that. Last year she made her first communion and confirmation all at the same time. In many ways I was soooo happy to have them both done at once. It was great from a busy parent perspective but really she didn't learn as much as I had hoped she would. While going through this with her I thought I should see about making my confirmation. I had been baptized Catholic, first communion Catholic & Lutheran, confirmation Lutheran but never confirmed Catholic which is as an adult I chose to be.
For the past year I had been working towards that and was able to convince my husband to make his communion and confirmation. At the time I just didn't want to go by myself.
This process has brought out more in me than what I ever knew to be there. While all this was going on our church became the location of 2 merged parishes (ours and another), our pastor was moved out and a new pastor was brought in. At first I was really upset that the previous pastor would not be the one to do my daughters 1st communion and confirmation since they changed 2 months prior to her sacraments. But I decided to give the new guy a chance on his own merits.
Also during this past year my sister finally was able to get pregnant and had twin girls. And she asked me to be the godmother for the oldest. I now had to speed up my process so that I could be a fully initiated Catholic by March 13th.
I spoke to Sister about this and our new Father and we were able to perform my confirmation on March 5th. I knew I already loved our new pastor better than our old and far better than I could have imagined but what transpired during my confirmation was something I was not at all ready for. Something truly transformed in me during that mass. While I was standing up there in front of the whole church all I could do was look at him. I was too nervous with everyone looking at me. And then at the end he gave me a hug that I say sealed the Holy Spirit and love for our church in me. I really was changed and I wasn't ready for it to be such a powerful thing. I thought OK, finally, I will have everything done. At 41. But it was so much more than that.
Over this past year I have really listened to his homilies like I have never before. I have been searching for a church and pastor that I could completely relate and connect with. I know I have found it finally.
I am now obsessed with wanting to do more at the church, be more personally. These are things I think about all the time now. And things that I have tried to say on a small scale to people close to me but they don't really understand. Even my husband is not understanding so here is where my rambling mind will express all that is in me.
I think I will be posting quite often now....