Thursday, April 7


I want to explain a little bit about why now.  And to answer that question is very difficult.  I think there are many reasons I can think of and I am sure there are others that I don't even realize.

First, I just think this was God's time for me.  I have always wanted to have my confirmation but never did it.  Sometimes I didn't do it simply because I didn't want to take the time to go through classes and such.  Which is even the reason I inquired when I did.  I figured I had already spent all that time at the family classes for my daughters communion/confirmation that those should count for something.  They didn't but as it turns out I am glad they didn't. 

Since around last September we have pretty much had a weekly meeting after mass.  Some longer than others but all pretty informal.  I have made some great friends from those meetings. 

But back to the question at hand.  Why now... 
Even up to the day of my confirmation I was not prepared for how I would feel. 

After much reflection on that event I think all of my thoughts about our church and where it is today, our new pastor and how I love how he leads us, and the fact that I have always wanted to feel like I truly belonged to be there all came together in that moment.  Sister said it is the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Since I was young I always wanted a church where the pastor didn't just preach to you but could speak to you according to the times.  He does that.  He can quote a movie during a homily that I know and I think he found the spiritual meaning in a movie that I remember most for some of the stand out lines.  He is so in tune with the parish and how many are still struggling with the merger and the fact that he is there that he addresses this in a manner of grace.  I find him very inspiring and feeling like I should do more and be more.  Not because I feel pressure but because I feel inspired.  Haven't you ever met or seen someone who inspires you simply by being themselves? It is a rare quality that some people have to truly inspire others.  And I feel he has it and is able to inspire the congregation through God.  Believe me there are plenty of people who don't like him at all and tell him that all the time.  But most of those people are still mad that our prior pastor is no longer there.  And I understand that but I also think if our parish is ever going to be able to move forward those people need to let go of the hate and move back to why we are at church in the first place.

Sister that is there is simply amazing.  She is also a wonderful person who can relate to all of us.  You never feel like you are not up to par.  I speak/email with her sometimes several times a week.  She will sometimes say things and you think she is a nun she can't say that but that is very old school of me.  She is never disrespectful especially concerning faith.  But because of this merger she is leaving soon.  I cannot imagine our church without her but I am trying to focus only on the positive right now.  We will see once she is gone.  Change isn't always easy.

Why now?  I guess I don't fully know myself.  It just is.  For so many reasons.  More than I have even stated.  Maybe it is now thanks to the grace of God...


A said...

I gather you are searching for something; but not quite sure what it is.
You should understand, Sister is just a human being, like you and I. So is the Pope. We are all subject to sin. We all sin everyday. So do not feel as if you are not up to par because she's a nun. That's not how God sees us.
The church is not for "holy people".
It's for people who have realize their short-comings, and know that only through the grace of Jesus, their past, present and future sins are ALL FORGIVEN (when he died on the cross).
Therefore, we walk in faith, because we are saved by grace, thus sin no longer have dominion over us.
So be free and do not think you are less than a nun.

The Grace of Almighty God be with you.

Lauren said...

Thanks. I know we are all just people. What I was trying to convey is the old school thoughts that nuns and priests shouldn't or even wouldn't watch an R rated movie for example.

Thanks again.