Labor Day Weekend

So who had a great weekend? Anyone? Anyone?

Ooh! Ooh! Hand raised high. Ooh! Ooh!

I did.

Saturday we were busy cleaning, and doing errands. We were gone most of the day but I was totally fine with that since I still had 2 more days off of work.

Sunday we did some lounging in the morning but then in the afternoon Jaclyn and I went ice skating. A friend of mine was having a birthday party for her hockey son and invited us to come skating. Jaclyn has been dying to go skating ever since she saw some movies featuring ice skating stories. This has been the first opportunity. I knew I would be putting her in skating lessons this fall so Thursday evening I found her some used (like new) skates for only $15. With some new pink laces and use of my magic eraser they looked brand new. My sister as well as a few other people we work with were also invited. Plus a ton of other people.

So we get to the rink, put on our skates (mine-rented), and we head for the ice. Jaclyn thinks she will just get on the ice and she will be spinning and doing triple sowcows. However, that was not to be. She kept telling me that her tummy was nervous before we got there. I tried to prepare her for feeling that cool sensation on her bum but she still thought no problem. She puts her skate to the ice and whooom. She almost goes down. I am holding her hand and manage to keep her up. Now I am nervous as I have not ice skated in at least 20 years. So I am also prepared to kiss the ice. But the cool air and smooth glassy ice was so inviting that I didn't even care if I ended up close and personal with my reflection.

Jaclyn and I are inching along the side so she can hold the wall. We make it about a 1/4 way around the rink and 15 minutes has passed. I was a little bummed because I wanted to go. To feel the wind through my hair. But my child needed me. Then my sister came to the rescue. She grabbed Jaclyn's other hand and we started off. Each of us holding a hand trying to hold her up. Me going backwards, Missy going forwards and Jaclyn getting brave in between. Us continually saying "keep your feet flat and together". She thought she could swish swish swish with us pulling her. And by the time it was all said and done she could. And she would say go faster. I want to go faster. There were a few close calls where we almost bladed over another child or adult who came in our path. By the end we were all going forward as fast as we could.

And with 2 minutes left in this beautiful skating session........

We are going fast down the straight away when all of a sudden I am kissing the ice. OUCH!! My knee cap hits first. Then my arm and side. Jaclyn is down closer to Missy and it was ugly. You see we were getting cocky. Jaclyn lost her footing kicking my skate out from under me and before you knew what was going on we were down. It must have looked really bad because a man near us was asking if we were ok. And trying to offer me a hand to get up. I said we were fine through my laughter and tried to get myself up. I wanted to save what little dignity I had. But you better believe if I couldn't get up on my own I would have had to swallow the last bite of pride. Ahh but thanks to my toe pick I was able to maneuver myself to my feet. Jaclyn is not quite crying but also not whining. There was some sort of inbetween crying thing going on about her thumb bleeding. I would have taken a picture of it but the cut was so miniscule that it would not have shown up on film. It was also bleeding if you want to call it that. It was more like a red line.

So we are now done skating and getting our shoes back on. We get a snack for Jaclyn from the vending machine and get in the car. We drive the 30 minutes back home and all is well in the world. We had a blast.

A little while later I decide to look at my knee. OH MY GOODNESS!!! Who put that goose egg under my skin! It is scraped and swollen. My husband just shakes his head and goes on about his business (of doing nothing).

It was still a load of fun!!

Even though a few days have gone by and my knee is still a little sore and I discovered a scrape on my arm.

I am now the proud owner of my own ice skates. I will be hitting the ice once a week if at all possible.

Monday we went to a local county fair to check out the livestock. My daughter is so good about not hounding us for rides at the fairs that I even let her play a $5 throw darts to pop balloons guaranteed large prize for kids game. She got a cute stuffed purple butterfly that hasn't left her side yet.

The most important part of the fair for Jaclyn and I was her discovery of the elephant ear. I have been teasing her about eating elephant ears since last winter. All summer we weren't able to get one. Once I tried but she chickened out. She was very concerned we were going to be eating a real elephant's ear with powdered sugar on top. Needless to say she was happy it was not. I took her picture taking a bite before we left the fair. Now I will need something else to harass her with.

From the fair we went to my SIL and BIL's house for a cookout. We had a lot of fun there and found out they are remodeling their living room and will be giving us their entertainment center. It is much nicer than the cheap thing we use so that was a nice surprise. We should get it sometime in October. The trick will be to get it to our house. Now I will really need to get my butt moving to paint and re-arrange the furniture that I have been talking about doing all year.
We stayed there until 7:30 and then had to hurry home to catch Prison Break.

If I had my pictures off of my camera I would post some but sadly I am not that up to date transferring the pictures from my camera.

I hope everyone has a great short week. I know I am glad it is already Wednesday.

A Quickie

Just a quick moment to say.....


WOO HOOOOOOO

This is my last day with no makeup!!!! Not that I am excited or anything (sorry, I had to wipe my mouth. The sarcasm was running down the side of my chin.).


More later....

Running

You know way back when I was a child. It is hard to imagine that possible but it is true. As a baby I learned how to walk when I was 9 months old. I am sure I learned to run while I was 1.

But now that I am ummm well let's just say older I don't know how to run. It feels like my legs are thinking my mind is crazy for trying to fathom such an idea of moving one foot in front of the other in a fast motion. About a year and a half ago I started to take the stairs at work and run on my treadmill at home. My knee decided it wasn't very happy with me. I had problems with it locking as if something was in it before this bright idea too force. So I ended up having laproscopic knee surgery last summer.

I was doing well with trying to lose weight and be more active before this surgery. After it I just sort of stopped. My knee is completely better but my weight is not. I really want to change this but haven't found something to motivate me enough.

Well, I think I have found my answer......

I want to run a race at W*alt Di*sney Wo*rld!!!!

HOW FUN WOULD THAT BE!!!!!!!!!!

So I am making my goal to be able to run a race there. I don't think I could do it by this January but hopefully they have other events throughout next year.

Makeup

I find myself going crazy this week because I cannot wear my eye makeup. I am not someone who looks perfect by any means. I have been known to run up to the store without makeup on as long as I wasn't going to be gone long. I do pray that I never run into anyone. The horror of that is unthinkable.

But I have now had to go to work for 4 days without makeup. And everyone is looking at me. I know they are. I am NOT paranoid. They ARE looking at me. Don't you see them?

Ok maybe not but that is what it feels like. On a normal day, I start the day with my makeup done and I attempt to do my hair. Although if there is any moisture in the air that is a futile project. But at least I start the day with my makeup on. During the day I rub my eyes, face, and who knows what else. Not there. I mean on my face. Anyway, by the end of the day my makeup is usually rubbed off for the most part. My mascara and eye liners do see me through, though.

So now every time I have to leave my desk in my very brown bland cubicle I feel the eyes.

They.Are.Looking.At.Me.

I CAN SEE

I made it through and it is great to not need contacts or glasses at all. I currently have 20/20 vision which I have not had since I was a kid. Unbelievable.

It definitely was one of the scariest things I have ever done.

When you first get there they double check your vision using the chart and prescription do hickey that you say better 1 or 2, 3 or 4, etc. Then you leave all of your possessions with your designated driver. Including your glasses.

They lead you into a back waiting area where they swab all around your eyes with iodine and then make you take Benedryl. Why Benedryl I am not sure. But I was proud of myself for being somewhat calm and deciding to not take the Valium. Already back there is a couple on one of the couches and another lady on the couch next to the chair I decide to sit in. OH-nearly forgot they make you put on a surgical cap and cover all of your hair and put gauze under it and over your ears so that drops don't run into your ears. That was a pretty sight. At least I can imagine it was because I couldn't see anyone clearly enough to tell you. Everyone is fuzzy except the man who is only there to lend support to his wife. HE has his glasses on still so he was able to see. He offered to help me turn on the massage chair if I wanted to sit in it but I thought that would just make me more nervous so I stayed put. We all chatted briefly about our prescription strength and I was the lowest so I guess that is something....

The other 2 ladies were taken back before me so I was left to myself for a few minutes. Then they called my name. I tried to put on a brave face but I fear it didn't work. The "helper man" (HM) walked me to the first laser that was going to cut the corneal flap in each eye. He did warn me that it would go black while it was going. My eyes were numbed with drops and then it started. You have to try to lie still as you are tipped backwards in a dental type chair. Feet in the air. They put a cover over one eye and then suction cup a device over the eye they are working on. That didn't really hurt but it was a lot of pressure and did freak me out a bit. I tried to stay still and control my breathing but I was struggling a bit. The laser did its job and I couldn't see anything for a minute or so. When it was done that eye was extremely cloudy. They moved me a bit and did the second eye. The whole time I am thinking I don't even know if my eye is straight since I can't see a thing since you are "blind" while the laser was making its path along my cornea. Yikes. Once both eyes were done HM had me get up and go into the next laser room. He held my hand and guided me along. I still don't know what he really looks like but he is being very gentle and comforting. He reassures me that it is ok that it looks like I am looking through a bunch of bubbles. And in my head I think that is exactly what it looks like. How'd he get into my head?

In the next laser room I am left alone for 10 minutes for more drops to take effect. I am supposed to keep my eyes closed this whole time. I try to relax and I start to hear someone moving around. Next thing I know the Dr. is introducing himself and moving me under the laser that will now change the shape of my eyes. He again covers the left eye while they start with the right one. He asks me to look up as far as I can. He tapes my eyelid but I can't really tell if I am doing it right. I must be since he then told me to look down as far as I can and he again puts tape to hold my eye open. Dr. tells me to watch the red light. I think I am doing this and I hope I am doing this. I hope my eye is not wandering as my mind is. I can feel myself start to panic a bit as I smell the laser working it's magic and the Dr. must have sensed this as well. Before I can really get myself worked up I feel a gentle touch of the Dr.'s hand as he puts it on the side of my face. It was so reassuring that it calmed me down immediately. He did have to tell me to keep watching the red light during my left eye so I must have wandered but he wasn't at all gruff about it. Which again calmed me. The strangest part is before and after the 2nd laser does it's thing the doctor is swiping and brushing and fluttering my eyeball. At least that is what it seems like since I can't really feel it nor see it. It was as if he was tickling my eye with a feather. I knew he was moving my cornea and replacing it and making sure it all went back together correctly but it was almost comical in a surreal sort of way.

I know during each phase I was clenching my hands together and holding my breath as I do in the dentist office. But it was fast. Thank goodness it was fast. The parts that really shook me were the suction cup thingy and the smell. The smell wasn't really a burnt flesh sort of smell but it was definitely a hot burning smell. Thank goodness it was fast.

I was taken in the back waiting room at 3:00 and I was out the door and heading to the car by 3:30. But not before they put the clear plastic guards taped to my forehead. Now that was a lovely sight. And not before they snapped a picture of me with the doctor before I had a chance to catch my breath after the surgery. Again another beautiful picture. You have to go back in the next day for a follow up 1 day after surgery. At this visit when you are seeing clearly they present you with this photo. I couldn't even look at it. Oh my it was bad.

My sister was quite happy she decided to drive me since she was able to get a chair massage while she waited for me. They have food, drinks, TV, massages and who knows what else that they give kindly and freely to the people in the waiting area.

I couldn't really see too well Friday on the way home as my eyes were very sensitive to the light. Similar to when you get them dilated. You are supposed to go home and sleep for 3-4 hours so that you keep your eyes closed. It helps them heal faster and better. But with a 4 year old that wasn't a possibility. I did keep them closed the majority of the time until 6:30 (which was then 3 hours post-op). My husband was nice enough to go get pizza so that I didn't have to cook. But by 7:30 I needed to make brownies for a BBQ at John and Lauri's house on Saturday. I meant to make them before work on Friday but forgot. Then I decided to give Jaclyn a bath since I knew I wouldn't have time on Saturday. My husband thought I was crazy but it really wasn't that hard to do by that point. I was really feeling like something was in my left eye and it kept running but my right eye was fine. By 8:00pm both eyes felt fine. I took some motrin around 9pm and Jaclyn and I both went to bed.

Jaclyn was so sweet when she got home. I actually was home first and was lying on the couch when her and J got home. She came in and just started rubbing my leg and saying, "Poor mommy. I am going to take good care of you." over and over. It was the cutest thing. She really does have a good heart.

When I woke up Saturday morning both eyes felt great. They weren't really light sensitive anymore and I was able to drive myself back to the office for my check up. All was well and my goodness my vision is 20/20. Amazing....

Now I just have to get past not wearing any eye makeup for a week. That is the hardest part for me. At least when I am not at home.

Anxiety

The verdict is in.......

I am having Lasik surgery on Friday. Tomorrow. Oh my...

I know I am making a volcano out of a small nugget of lava rock but it is scary. Like the molten lava chasing me trying to swallow me up. These are my eyes after all.

I remember back when I was in 9th grade. I thought I was so cool. WHAT!! I was wacked. I had such a warped sense of who I was back then. It feels like that was another person and I didn't really have a childhood. I think of the things I used to do and wonder who was that person. I am not sure how I became the woman (how did that happen) that I am.

I hear people talk of their childhoods and I don't feel that. I don't remember much. Just a few scattered memories from elementary school. I didn't have many friends. I don't really know why. I know I went to one school through 3rd grade. When my mother remarried and we moved to another city I started a new elementary school for 4th -6th grades.

I remember from my first school that I had a couple of friends (don't ask me their names) and that I was excited to get a certain teacher for 4th grade but we moved before I got that teacher (have no idea who that was now or if male or female or alien).

I remember my new school and the kids picking on me. I was a little chunky at that age and nobody really liked me. One big girl (at least I remember her bigger than me but who knows if she really was) tried to protect me but that didn't last through 6th grade. I am not sure how that fell to the wayside.

I do remember being able to jump rope really well. Even in my clogs.
Oh my clogs. I loved them more than anything. I was "grown" up and they had a high wedge heel. I wasn't allowed to get the ones that weren't a wedge. I wore them everywhere. They truly were the best thing ever!

What I remember most about my childhood is staying at my grandparents house. ALL THE TIME. I loved it there and those are really my fondest memories. My grandfather telling us we should make chocolate chip cookies and then leaving my grandmother and I to bake them. My grandmother gently rubbing my eyelids as I lay in the yellow daisy bedroom until I would fall asleep. Loving the velvety touch to the wallpaper in the dining room. Loving when my grandmother would vacuum the formal living room and the carpet would make stripes from the vacuum. Running around their house. Hiding in the crawl space in the basement. My grandmother telling anyone and everyone to leave me alone if I did something wrong. Truly being loved unconditionally by them. Sniff.Sniff.Sniff. Fighting back the tears as I write this because I miss her so much. Never really feeling that again after she passed away 14 years ago. Ok, I must get back to other childhood memories before I am crying my eyes out.

I remember going to the middle school and somehow making friends. I was never one of the popular girls but was able to get along with most cliques. I think part of my dorkness was that I was tall and developed ahead of other girls. Granted that all came to a screeching halt and I went from being one of the taller kids in the class to one of the shortest ones.

In middle school I had a "boyfriend" who wanted me to go to the dance. So we did and I was mortified at the time for the slow dance because he was shorter than I was. I hid in the bathroom until someone made me come out. That relationship only lasted 2 weeks. But we remained friends all the way through high school. Well, until he got a girlfriend that didn't like me being friends with him since we dated. I guess at that age the 2 weeks really counted. I still feel weird if I am taller than a man. Good thing my husband has 2 inches on me if he would only stand up straight.

I remember art class in junior high. I wasn't very good at it but I really liked the class. I also remember English class because of my teacher Mr. Fritch. I loved purple. It was my favorite color. His too. I sat in the front and was one of the best students in the class. I was always getting extra attention from him. By this time I was very thin and but probably still dorky. He used to use markers a lot and would get grape scented purple markers that he would always let me smell. I never thought it strange or weird. He was just my really cool teacher. And although extremely strange and weird to analyze now he will always be my cool teacher. As a side note, when we were in high school he ended up marrying a girl who was only a couple years older than me which we thought was scandalous at the time but not so much now.

At the time you don't think your teachers are only in their 20's. Most weren't but there were some young ones. Like the basketball coach. He was dreamy. He even asked me to play but I was too chicken. Plus the whole being short thing by then.

I was relatively a good kid. I didn't get into too much trouble. But I did start to drink alcohol in high school. Ok. Not IN high school but during my high school years. We would get drunk before dances at the local boys high school. We would sneak out at night to hang out at Dominos. Until my dad ended up getting a job there. Then there went that fun spot to flirt with the cute guy who worked at night. The local gang type guys looked out for me on the strip (a main road near my house where they hung out). I liked one of them and he took good care of me and wouldn't let me around anything bad. So even though they had a bad reputation I never really saw it. I had a crush on him but I think he knew better than to go there with me.

I did cut classes in high school quite a bit in my junior an senior year. The dynamics in my school changed drastically from my freshman year to the time I graduated and I just couldn't stand to be there. My dad got me out of detention once which was very cool of him. Saying he knew I wasn't going to be in class.

I basically hung out with the same set of friends, 1 girl and about 4 boys. Elaina and I were best friends through junior high and high school. But after that we kind of drifted apart. She had separate friends from the restaurant she worked at and I had mine from working at McDonalds. Our mothers were then best friends for many years after that. They probably still keep in touch. We both had serious boyfriends in high school. She was the first to "lose IT". I was so jealous. I was 17 when that happened and it was with my boyfriend of 2 years. He was a year older than I was and after I graduated he broke up with me. Although I don't blame him. I would have too. I was a flirt and had a couple of harmless kisses with others. It was for the best. I often wonder what happened to Bob. People thought I went out with him for his car because he wasn't the best looking guy. He had my all time favorite car in the world. A 65 mustang. It was a great car. But he was sweet and nice to me and I needed that. I hope he is well, married, and loving life. As a funny side note, his parents once caught us in the act. Boy was that embarrassing....

I don't remember being cold or hot on any day. I do remember walking to a school dance at the boys high school in just a pair of flats through the snow and thinking that wasn't bad at all. I was popular with the boys there. Partly because I worked with many of them but also because I used to be fun back then. I would just have fun. No pressure for anyone. Just hanging out dancing, talking, laughing, and who knows what else.

I tried to go to a local college after I graduated but that ended after a couple of quarters since I was also trying to work full time and just didn't have time. I still believe if I had been allowed to go away to college I would have finished. I wish I would have finished. But oh well. Sometimes I think it would be nice to get my degree now but in reality I know I don't have the desire to put in the necessary time at this point in my life. I would just want to be home with my daughter.

I wonder who was this salad eating, working out, loving life-(sort of) girl who knew how to have fun and was fun to be around. Who knew how to win at any water fight. Who could outrun the boys chasing her. Whose little sister always wanted to hang around and thought she was cool. Maybe she was cool at the time.

Where did she go?

Thank Goodness for Tivo

As the fall is fast approaching so is the new TV lineup. Yes we are a house with a TV on constantly. Even if no one is watching. But we do love our TV shows.

If it weren't for my husband's wonderful birthday gift he received a couple of years ago we would never be able to watch them all. But due to our wonderful Tivo we are able to record all sorts of things. Sometimes it will even record things it thinks we will like. Not always right but you never know what will be there by the Tivo brain.

Last night was the season premiere of Prison Break. It comes on at 8:00 which is not a good time for us as this is not a child friendly show and Jaclyn's bedtime isn't until 8:30-9:00. So we let it record and watch it after she is in bed. Yay for us!! Of course the show was awesome. It had a shocker moment that people weren't ready for. Got me all pumped up for me to lay in bed forever before being able to fall asleep. I loved every minute of it!

Last year this was how our nights were filled with TV: Prison Break, 24, Road Rules Challenge, House, Veronica Mars, The OC, ER, The Apprentice, Lost, Survivor, Rock Star, American Idol, Grey's Anatomy, and I am sure there were others.

Too many, I know. But great entertainment. Granted I usually watch something in the mornings as I am getting ready for work and sometimes on the weekends but they are usually worth it.

Ok. I will admit it.

Our house is full of TV junkies.


On the Lasik front, still no decision. My husband wasn't satisfied with the list I made and never looked at the checkbook. He claims he will look at the stuff today so we can decide. I told him I need to know since there is prep work I need to do starting this evening plus 2 prescriptions I need to get. UGH.

I Am Freaking.....

I am really freaking out today. I feel so nervous it is ridiculous.

I am terrified that my husband will put his stamp of approval on me getting Lasik surgery on Friday. It is costly and will increase our monthly bills. But if he doesn't agree than I need to order new contacts and get these glasses off of my face. BUT if he does agree than I need to muster up enough courage to go through with it. And that has me shaking in my boots or rather my sandals. I have to show him a copy of all of our bills and run through that whole mess. That also makes me nervous. Not that there is anything he can't see but I always feel like I am in an inquisition when he wants to look at the checkbook and bills.

Also adding to that is my excitement about Prison Breakk being back on the air tonight. I love that show!!! And that makes me nervous. And when that comes on after 24 then I can't get to sleep. I love it!

Are there any shows you are addicted to?

For me there are too many to list. Sad I know. But true.

Help Me Understand

I have been sitting on this info all week. I am not sure what to say. I just don't understand how these things happen. Or why.

In my family I have 2 younger sisters. There is the middle girl, M, who I love to death and is my best friend and sister. I talk to her just about every day. We work for the same company and I would do anything for her. She is the one I pray will become pregnant and soon.

Then there is the "other one", S. She just had a birthday on the 14th. She turned 25. So M sucked it up and called her and found out that she is 3 months pregnant and how that makes her birthday suck because she can't even enjoy it. (Keep in mind she is smoking as she is talking) Also she is now living with our mother in a trailer home (not that there is anything wrong with that but it is small). Oh and did I mention this will be her 4th child. Not to mention the other pregnancies she terminated (of which I have lost track). Many people who don't really know M or I would think that our issue is the fact that the father of all of these children is black and we are not. However, we could care less about that. Our issue with S is her total lack of responsibility and the way she chooses to live her life.

It is so frustrating for us to feel for her when she had lied to us, stolen from us, and on and on. I don't want Jaclyn associating with these cousins of hers because they are such bad examples to her. I do feel bad on some levels that these poor kids are going to have a somewhat crappy life and will really need to have strong will to overcome the obstacles that their parents have made for them. But I don't go out of my way to see them. I know shame on me but I can't help it.

There is so much bad history between S and I that I refuse to be led down that path of worry again. I went through a period that I ended up having chest pains from stress over trying to take care of the family. I had to break away for my own health. My poor grandfather pays her rent and any other bills-monthly. Neither S nor her man (of which I only know his "street" name) work. Neither cares if they have the kids around them or not. I think they would both be happy if they could do as they pleased and party as they would like. S has supposedly kicked him out and that is why she is back living with my mother. But she is old enough to take some responsibility for herself and stop mooching off of everyone.

My mother thinks M and I need to forgive S and believe that she is trying to make things better and get a job and blah blah blah. But then she announces she is pregnant and it is the same old shit. What is really sad is that now she is my mother's golden child while M and I are on the bad child list. Whatever.

What I really need to understand is how in the world people who would do anything to get pregnant can't yet there are people like my sister, S, who disregard what a precious gift that is.

Impatience

Sometimes I lack the patience necessary to deal with the attitude my daughter can sometimes have.

Last night was one of those days. I knew she had already gotten into trouble during the day for lying. Plus it was full moon-ish and for some reason that affects her as well.

So it is finally bed time and she goes potty and we are getting ready to brush her teeth. She is dilly dallying rinsing her hands and I am tired of telling her to just rinse them already.

So...

I splash a little water in her face.

She gets a bigger attitude. She is all, " Uh. Why did you splash me! " and then taking off her glasses, "You made them worbelly!"

I look at her and bust a gut laughing.

She tries her best to keep her attitude face for about 30 seconds and then she starts laughing also. I tell her that is not even a word.

We finish in the bathroom, get her a drink of water, lipstick (lip balm), and head off to bed. She even went to sleep relatively quickly.

Help or Not So Much

Let me set the stage....

It is spaghetti for dinner and I cook. I make the sauce in one pot. Brown the ground meat in a pan and then add to sauce pot (minus the grease). Boil water and cook noodles in another pot. Drain noodles in strainer.

We eat. So that is 3 bowls (yes we are a bit strange and eat our spaghetti out of a bowl instead of a plate), 3 forks, 3 glasses, 2 pots, 1 pan, 1 strainer, 2 serving spoons, and other misc. dishes in the sink. Oh I almost forgot about the rolls I made so that adds another knife and cookie sheet. Not to mention having to wipe off the stove and wash the spoon holder from the stove.

Ok.

I go into the kitchen to start to clean up. I hate washing dishes after spaghetti night. We do not have a dish washer so everything is done by hand. Which on most days is ok. Anyway into the kitchen I go. I put the sauce in a bowl for leftovers and begin to wash the dishes.

I notice my husband washed his bowl and fork.

BUT LEFT EVERYTHING ELSE. He even had to wash these around the strainer and pot in the sink from the noodles. He has done this on several occasions.

I laugh the I can't believe this is happening again laugh. He wonders what I am laughing at. So I proceed to say, "You washed your bowl?"

He replies, "yeah, I know how you hate to wash spaghetti dishes."

I then proceed to let him know that by washing only his bowl he is not helping me at all. It is not really the dishes we eat on that I hate to wash. That I really hate the pots and pans.

Can anyone guess what he said next?????

Yep, him, "Ok, then I won't do it anymore."

Me, "UGH"

So I pose this question, was it really a help or not?

Also does anyone have anything that your significant other does that thinks they are helping but really just annoys you????

Why oh why can't I win the lottery....

I am feeling kind of sad today. I would so love to be able to be a SAHM but sadly that is just not in the cards for me.

If you are easily offended by the debate of Working Moms vs. SAHM then continue reading at your own risk. I do not mean to offend. It is simply how I feel.

I often wonder about the work from home advertisements you see. I know most are scams but how do you weed those out? How wonderful it would be to find a legitimate job that allows it's employees to work from home. My employer has a few of those positions but it is scary to me to take that risk. Most of the people I know that have taken those positions in a claims processing department are now no longer with the company. A risk I can't afford to make.

I also often wonder how many people feel as I do. I am often jealous of the SAHM's out there. When home on a vacation day and running errands you see these other mom's out with their kids. I make assumptions they don't work which they could be doing of me also when at a store or park or wherever during the day during the week. I don't judge them just envy them.
It is always hard for me to be supportive of a SAHM who complains about it. I know in my head that with everything there are frustrations and challenges so why would being a SAHM be any different. But in my heart I feel like I would give anything to have those problems. I try my best to listen and be supportive because I know my jealousy is not their fault.

I am just so much happier and at peace when I know I don't have to work. Please don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to have a job. I just wish I had the choice of working or not.

Lasik Surgery

Anyone ever done this?

It scares me to death. I have put off even considering it for a few years.

But....

This year my contacts have been making me crazy! Wearing glasses is not really an option I am happy with. So I suddenly decided to make an appointment. I go on 8/19 for my free consultation. The worst part is that I need to take my contacts out for 5 days prior. So that will be a hard week.

The biggest stumbling block is the cost. This is not covered by my insurance so it will be completely out of my pocket. This may mean the difference between whether or not I follow through with this.

But....

If it is possible. And it is successful. And I don't need to wear contacts or glasses.

I don't know what I would do with myself. To be able to wake up, swim, or do anything in my daily life and be able to see clearly without eye irritation would be simply marvelous.

So wish me luck that I would only need one of the less expensive lasers and that I am a good candidate....

Home Body

I am such a home body. I don't really like to go out and do things. After work I like to do what I have to and then just stay home.

So last night was a challenge. My husband won tickets to the Train concert. I came home from work, took Jaclyn to her swimming lesson, and then hurried back home again to eat and get ready to leave in 30 minutes. My mother in law came over to watch Jaclyn and off we were.

I was not thrilled to be going. I love the band and their music. I just didn't want to stay out late on a work night and blah blah blah.

BUT....

Once we were there it was wonderful. The stage is set on the river bank and they have made such huge improvements from the last time I was there to the whole area. It was a beautiful backdrop!

The opening band was Toby Light(something) and she was pretty good but I was just counting down until Train would begin. It was about 9:15 when they took the stage and needless to say I was yawning. I am such a lightweight. But that is a whole other post.

Anyway, they come out and Pat Monahan starts to sing. And his voice is awesome! He was so personable and friendly. You could understand his words. During She's On Fire he pulled 4 girls/women on stage. One was a little girl and he made her the star of this part. He wanted them to sing the chorus "She's on Fire" and centered the little girl in front of the mic. Later, he said there was a woman he wanted to get to know a little better and had her come on stage and sit next to him at the edge. He was sweet about it and she was a "real" woman and not a skanky groupie. She looked genuinely embarrassed and he was great with the whole bit. He had tons of audience participation with singing and what not.

I am happy I went and it was truly a Great Concert!!

What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

We were on vacation last week. We didn't go anywhere but were very busy. Each day I did a little more to clean out our basement but I didn't want it to rule the week. I wanted to do something fun with my daughter each and every day.

So here is what our week consisted of:

Monday: We went to feed the carp at the spillway at Pymatuning. It wasn't as good as it usually is since we were not able to get enough old bread to throw and then to boot it was closed. So we made the best of it and parked down the road a bit and walked to the other side. Jaclyn was just as happy as if the normal area had been open. Plus due to the good nature of other people that were there they gave us an additional 5 or 6 loaves of bread. That was very nice of them and completely surprising. I try to believe in the good in people but it still takes me by surprise when someone does something purely to be nice. So THANK YOU mysterious people who gave so kindly of your bread!

Tuesday: Jaclyn and I spent the day at a special pool in a neighboring city. She picked which one she wanted to go to and we stayed from 1:00 - 7:00pm. We had tons of fun swimming and sunning. They had slides and a sprinkler area in the kids pool. Plus we went to the big pool to do some real swimming and jumping.

Wednesday: We went to Geauga Lake. It was still hotter than hot but it was great since we spent most of the time in the waterpark side. We went in the wave pool (Which is so much better than the original wave pool. Now it keeps giving waves for awhile then it stops for awhile and then starts again. You get the picture, don't you?), went down the slides, and swam around. Jaclyn surprised us by going down the tube slides and another one that was a little bigger than she was willing to do before. We went to see if she wanted to ride some rides in the kids area but she wasn't too interested. She did do the adult version of the log ride. I know. Go figure. A water ride. But it was her first real roller coaster type ride. We warned her that there was a little hill but then we would go up a big hill and then all the way down. She was a little scared but said she loved it. She was surprised she got splashed at the end but was still ok with it. She even wanted to do it again right away. We convinced her we would stop back on our way back to the waterpark side after she rode some kiddie rides. Well she only wanted to ride one after she decided it went too high. We were even with her. She is so a girl after my own heart. But she did take me for a drive on the old cars. She was in front and I was in back. It was pretty funny. She then decided she didn't want to ride the log ride again but just go back to the waterpark. So we did. We stayed until it closed at 8:00pm. She fell asleep on the way home and I felt so bad having to wake her to go potty and put on her pj's.

But the funniest part of the whole day was while I was going to get food. Jay wanted a burger so he got a table with Jaclyn still in her stroller. I brought him his food and went to get drinks and something for Jaclyn and I. She didn't really want anything other than ice cream and I didn't either since it was soooooooo hot. So I decided what the hell and got her some dippin dots ice cream. When I get back to the table she is hiding in her stroller under the hood part. She won't tell Jay what she said. So I get her to tell me what she said about the ducks that were walking around. She is whispering in my ear and I have to keep asking her to say it again since it was so quiet. Finally I hear' " I said big ass feet". Oh my goodness. She apparently saw the duck in front of her and told Jay that the duck has big ass feet. Then realized what she said was a bad word and clammed up. It still cracks me up. Needless to say she did not get into trouble but was told that I was happy she told me what she said but to not say that again as it is a bad word. Soooooooooooo veeeerrrrrry Fuuuunnnnnyyyy!!!!!

Thursday: It was supposed to rain a bit so we went to see the movie Cars. We went to the matinee. And I was thinking it would only cost a total with popcorn and drinks for the 3 of us about $20-$25 max. Boy was I wrong. It cost us $18.75 just to get in and then another $14.50 for 1 popcorn and 2 drinks. As you can tell I don't go to the movies much. Only the $1.50 show on occasion. I won't be doing that again. Of course unless it is a really good movie that I just can't wait to see. But that doesn't happen too often.

Friday: We just hung out during the day. We had to drive to the other side of town to pick up Train concert tickets that my husband won from the radio station. But in the evening we went to see the Browns practice at their stadium during their family fun night. Jaclyn was fairly bored during the practice but was happy to eat. She wanted a hotdog, popcorn, lemonade, ice cream, and who knows what else. What she got was a hotdog (surprisingly priced for the evening at just $1), lemonade we shared, and ice cream. Of course she managed to get ice cream on the end of her ponytail which then got it all over the back of her shirt. This was the first time she wore this shirt and I can't get the chocolate ice cream out.

Anyone have a good solution for getting chocolate ice cream stains out of a shirt??

Saturday: We mostly hung out around the house and swam in the little pool in our backyard. John, Lauri, and Olivia came over in the afternoon for a little swimming fun and to play on our new swingset. It was great having them over. Jaclyn and Olivia are so cute together. At one point Olivia sat on Jaclyn's little lap to go down the slide and then that was the only way she would go down.

Sunday: Reality starts to set in so I start to get stuff together for the upcoming week. UGH>
But we did go to my sister-in-laws house to swim in their pool for the afternoon.

In a nutshell we had a great week!!!!
Too bad all weeks can't be like this...

I am grateful to have a job but I really hate working. I really really need to win the lottery.

My Basement

Well, my basement flooded about ankle deep throughout most of it during the flood of 7/27/06. It was and is a mess. We have been working daily to clean it out. Disinfect. Replace. and Repair.

It didn't help that after the flood waters receded the temperatures were high, hot and humid. So we really had to get a huge chunk of the cleanup done right away.

The worst part is that we did not have any insurance coverage for any of the items we needed to throw away. Thankfully, we did not lose our washer, dryer, full freezer, refrigerator, furnace, or hot water tank. We also were able to save the couches that were down there.

We did throw away a huge metal cabinet, wood bookshelf, old grade school papers, carpeting, and much more.

But again I am thankful that the major appliances were ok. We did have to buy a dehumidifier and it is amazing how much moisture is still down there. But we were lucky we had a basement that flooded and had sewer backup and not our main floor. We are lucky we did not need to be rescued from our rooftop. In the end we really were very lucky.

Rain Rain Go Away

BASEMENT.FLOODED.

UGH

Gadgets

I was recently accused of always falling for gadgets. Okay maybe a little true. I am always looking for ways to simplify life. For example, I love the swiffer products but hate the disposable toilet bowl cleaner brushes (yuck).

So my recent purchase is this wonderful (I hope) shower cleaner. I used my $5 off coupon and have now hung it in our shower. So far so good but I am only on day 4 of the initial 10 day test period.

We do not have shower doors, though. So you have to be sure that the shower curtain is closed completely so you don't get sprayed in the face. The first time I did it, Jaclyn was in the bathroom with me watching me hang this cool new cleaner. We pushed the button and it started beeping. We thought it seemed like something was wrong so we were about to peak and it started spraying. We both jumped back and started cracking up.

Now my husband has thought this purchase silly. Go figure since he is the voice behind the gadgets speech. However, he couldn't resist the urge to try it himself. He didn't tell us he was going to but after his shower one evening he pushed the button. Also thinking something was wrong because it beeps for a bit (I guess to give you time to get out of the way), he peeked inside and got sprayed in the face. I was laughing so SO hard! Granted he didn't tell us about this until awhile later which made it even funnier that he didn't want to admit it at first.

So, beware! Close the curtains completely while beeping. You never know when you will get sprayed in the face! he he hehehehehehhe

I wonder if anyone else is a gadgets person...

My Sis

I actually have 2 sisters but I only talk to one. The "other" sister as we call her lives her life in ways I do not support at all. So to avoid conflicts and potential calls to the police I choose to keep my distance.

Anyway, I get off subject. My very best friend and sister is and has been trying to get pregnant. I pray all the time that God will bless her to be pregnant. I know she wants it more than anything and is having a hard time with it.

So please pray for her that she gets pregnant soon with a beautiful and healthy child.

I have been enlightened in so many ways about adoption and I am by no means trying to knock that but she is not in that place now. I know at this point that would be too painful for her to even contemplate. And even though I know that is a wonderful road to take to build a family I pray she doesn't find herself on that road. Again simply because I know more than anything she wants to be pregnant. She wants to experience all of the changes that occur to your body (both good and bad). Plus I feel it is too soon for her to even ponder. I think I feel more at peace for her if that is the path she follows since I have read so many wonderful blogs about adoption. As well as seeing my friends adopt the sweetest little girl (even if she has tantrums on occasion. what kid doesn't).

I am glad I can't relate while at the same time sad that I can't relate to help her along better. I love my sister so much and just want all of her dreams to come true.

Please, God, bless my sister to be pregnant with a wonderful and healthy baby soon. She would make such a great mom!


Note: I should say that she doesn't even know that there may be any medical issues. It is just that she is anxious and it hasn't happened yet so far.

Funny

Does anyone watch Last Comic Standing? Oh my goodness... Josh Blue is so funny. He, I believe, is the oldest living person with Cerebral Palsy. He doesn't hide from it and does use it in his skit. But you don't feel sorry for him. I hope he wins at this point. It is down to 4 people.

We also watch Big Brother and I was cracking up with the Jase mirror face. Too funny. I don't know any men that spend that much time doing their hair in front of the mirror. The other contestants were in their diary room and making fun. The sad part was that Jase knows he does it and admits his mom named it the "mirror face".

And to round out tv time last night was Rock Star Supernova. I am not even sure what to say about some of the people competing to be the lead singer of Tommy Lee's new band. I have yet to watch the rest of the show but boy some of those people are strange.

Which reminds me.... I LOVE TIVO!! My husband got this as a birthday gift a year and a half ago and it is the best thing. To pause live tv - awesome. And the way it records so effortlessly...
I don't usually get to sit down and watch an entire show. I am usually in and out as I am trying to clean up, get my daughter ready for bed, get stuff ready for work the next day and so on. So I usually get to catch up on parts I have missed before work. And it is great since I can easily skip past parts I did see. Long live the inventor of Tivo. Yes, sometimes my priorities are a little off.

Dieting

I am refusing to diet.

That said, I really really want to lose weight. It is so hard and I am not sure I could really list the reasons why. One is that in my house I am the only one with a problem. My husband has been blessed with a high metabolism that allows him to eat any and all foods he wants and never has any consequences. I am hoping my daughter has been blessed with this as well.

I try to teach her not to worry about her weight or looks but to be healthy. I want her to never have to struggle like I do. There are too many people around us that only focus on the physical looks of people and will openly criticize people (behind their back but in front of kids). It always makes me wonder what they say about me. My 4 year old daughter has said things about being fat or someone who is fat. I always tell her that is not a nice thing to say because it could hurt someone's feelings. I also always tell her that she doesn't need to worry about that as long as she eats plenty of fruit and veggies and exercises. I always point out when she is simply playing and running around that it is good exercise. I don't want her to think she has to do some sort of formal workout at her age. Just being active is enough.

I fear for a couple of my nieces that they can become anorexic. They are 9 and 12. Too young to be so concerned but they are. There have been times that they have told Jaclyn that if she eats another cookie she will get fat. Even my sister in law that watches her has made similar comments. That mentality is so scary and damaging to me. That is not the message I try to convey. I simply state she has had enough junk food and needs to have something healthier. Never mentioning anything about physical looks. Only stating that to grow up strong she can't eat too much junk food. I don't want it to only be about looks.

As I watch my daughter in our daily life she amazes me with her lack of self conscienceness. She will wear whatever clothes she likes. Not because she likes how they make her body look but because she likes the color or that they are a dress, etc. I often wonder at what point she will tell me she doesn't want to wear something anymore because it makes her butt look funny or some other nonsense.

It is hard because the media always refers to body image. Even in Disney movies you will hear the term fat or skinny or some other in between. You will hear about beauty and almost always it is about physical beauty.

I also always try to reinforce to Jaclyn that she is beautiful because she has a good heart and cares about other people. That I love her face and body because of how strong it is and it is growing so quickly and amazes me with what she is able to do and think. I love her hair because it is a fairly boring brown color but has the most amazing highlights I have ever seen naturally with her natural curls at the bottom and most importantly it is hers. I love her beautiful blue eyes because they are the windows to her soul. They allow her to see the best they can and even though she needs to wear her glasses they sparkle when she laughs and create the biggest tears when she cries. And they are hers. I tell her all of these things make her a beautiful person on the inside as well as the outside.

I have asked her before when she has said someone was fat if she thought I was. She said no. I really hope she never does. I so want to change myself to be a healthy example to my girl but sometimes I don't know what stops me. I NEED TO CHANGE! I just hope I can find the strength and courage to do it.

Bugs

My girl is shall we say a "girlie girl" with a twist. But don't tell her that or you will then hurt her heart and she will be forced to "fight" you. For those are fightin' words!

For example, the world is attacking her if a bug, especially a flying type of bug, enters her personal space. That then requires her to scream as loud as she possibly can to reach the correct tone and pitch of the offending bug to scare them away. If that doesn't work we cower and continue to scream. I am surprised the police have not shown up in our backyard to see what the commotion is about. Once you assure her it is not a bee and will not sting or bite her you must shoo it away so that the planets can re-align.

She has made my mother in law as well as my husband stop the car because a midgy (mosquito looking bug without the bite for those that may not know what I am talking about) landed on her.

But when I tell her I don't like worms and don't want to touch a worm she laughs. Here is the twist. She will argue with me about worms. She claims they tickle and are perfectly fine to hold. Now I don't know about you but in the girly girl world I would have to say that holding worms is strictly forbidden.

Now don't get me wrong. I sometimes disagree about the worms strictly to show her that it is perfectly ok for her to have a differing opinion from me. And she should stick up for what she truly believes in. Even if it is tickling worms...

Oh and by the way, the midgy's are now ok too since all they do is tickle also.

Baby Mystery

Picture Jaclyn and I driving home from swimming lessons. This drive only takes 2 minutes at most. Out of the blue this conversation begins:

J: "Was I at your wedding?"

Me: "No, you weren't born yet."

J: "Was I in your tummy?"

Me: "No, not yet."

J: "Well how do I get in your tummy? From your pee pee?"

Me: "After you get married you can have a baby. And babies come out by a place by your pee pee but not until you are older."

J: "How do you make a baby?"

Me: "Well, uh, you see, when you are married there is something you can do to make a baby."

J: "How?"

Me: "Well, it is hard to explain right now. When you are a little bit older we can explain it better." sigh, ugh

Boy, I sure handled that well.

Not.

I always try to answer the question without too much detail. She has always wondered about babies being in tummys but the point blank question of how do you make a baby was a new one today.

I did ask her after we had changed to subject if she was ok with the whole baby thing and she said yes. So I was able to dodge any other questions on this day.

At least she still thinks she can marry me and live with me forever...
Even if she has to marry a boy...(boys are bad you see--good thing she doesn't have a brother)

Cows on the Freeway

Ok.

On the way to work this morning there was an accident so I was stuck in traffic. We were not moving much at all. I look over at the lane next to me and I see a semi full of cows.

And they are all saying, "Moooooooooo" in several different tones.

Now keep in mind that I work in our major city downtown so to see a semi full of cows is, well let's just say unusual. Not that I don't see cows all the time when I go places on the weekend nearish to my house but not going to work.

Of course I call my daughter and tell her to listen. Poor thing couldn't hear a thing. But she was tickled pink. I told her they looked like baby cows and that just added to her awe.

Too funny. I took a picture with my camera phone. Not too clear but if you look real hard you can see some noses poking through the holes.



Cows have made my Thursday morning.

Swim Baby Swim

I have taken Jaclyn in the water every year since she was 6 months old. I love swimming and wanted her to love it as well and not be afraid. So here she is 6 months old and we are at my SIL's pool and I push her under water and pull her up. And she loves it. She has the cutest what in the world was that look on her face. My brother in law even took my under water camera and snapped a picture. She has her mouth closed and her eyes wide open. She wasn't at all scared. We then swam around for a little while.

They next year she was one and we did pretty much the same thing. Except now she was big enough to go in an infant float but what she really liked was to suck on the front handle part. We had another fun summer in the pool.

By the time she was 2 she wasn't as crazy about going under water even though she would do it a couple of times during the summer. We went to Disney that year and she had a great time in the pool there and in the water park but still didn't like the water on her face too much. Even in the bath tub we had to wipe her face after every rinse of her hair.

Then she was 3 and started swimming lessons at our community pool. We did both sessions so they were Mon-Fri for 40 minutes every evening from June through August. There was 30 minutes or real instruction and the last 10 minutes they call game time. She learned so much that year. It was hard for me to let someone else care for her in the pool. I always kept a very watchful eye to make sure the instructors (who are the pool life guards) were also keeping a watchful eye on her. She learned to do a ball float, front float, back float, hold her head under water, kick and so much more. She still wasn't crazy about being splashed in the face, though. I even had to ask the guards to not splash her during their games. But she still loved every minute being in the pool.

While she was 3 we went to an indoor water park that was ok to me but she had a blast. They had a small kiddie slide that was just perfect for her. To begin I had to walk her up and then run back down and catch her at the bottom. We only stayed one night but that was all she needed. By the next day she was booking up the steps and going down all on her own. "Don't catch me, mom!" she would yell.

Now at 4 it is amazing to me how far she has come. She is back in her daily swimming lessons this summer. And not only is she still learning more techniques, she is perfecting others. She has no fear and just swims and swims till she is so exhausted. We went to a different indoor water park in the early spring and she was leary at first but then going down the kiddie slide with ease. Trying to go different ways such as head first, on her tummy, lying on her back and whatever else she could think of that the guards wouldn't tell her not to do. They of course were no fun and they were only allowed to go down on their butts. But that didn't stop her from trying and at least getting it in once before they told her no. We are thinking of having her birthday at this water park since it was just so much fun.

So that brings me to this past weekend. It was extrodinarily hot and humid in our part of the world. We spent Saturday afternoon, evening, and almost all day Sunday at my SIL's pool. We swam our hearts out. She would jump (more like dive at me) from the ladder. And lest we forget the biggest discovery of all. Can we all say CANNON BALLLLL!

We got tanned. Or should I say she got tanned while I burned. I always make sure she has sunscreen on but never do it myself. Shame on me. Now if only my legs weren't so pasty white I might look human. We just had a great time together in the water.

Yesterday I had to go to work and she got to go swimming in the afternoon as it was still so very hot. But after her swimming lesson was over we both went back in the pool and swam for about 45 minutes. So not only were we having a great time but I was trying to think of it as a great workout. I love things that are fun and you don't even realize you are using your muscles.

So here is to you, my little mermaid, and our fun in the pool this summer! We will make sure to hit the pool again soon.

Blah Blah and more Blah

I just feel Blah today. I am not sure why. There is nothing really wrong. Just Blah.

As a funny side note.

My daughter takes swimming lessons at our local pool every weekday evening. So we get there last night and walk to the pool from the car. I usually park on the side street and walk through the playground area. Once we get to the pool we hear a little rumble of thunder.

Bummer.

So we wait a few minutes as they have not cancelled swimming lessons yet.

It starts to drizzle. No biggie. They still swim if raining but not with thunder and lightning.

No lightning and no more thunder. But then it is as if God has dumped his bucket of water on us because it just downpours. We all scurry under the umbrellas set up for shade at the pool. But it is windy and pouring.

I am getting wet from the backside. I still have an my nice dress work clothes that are thankfully machine washable and not dry clean only. Hate dry clean clothing. I don't buy it but that is a whole other post.

Anyway, after a few minutes lessons are officially cancelled. They couldn't do that when I had a small chance of making it back to my car seeing as I don't have an umbrella with me?!?

So I say to Jaclyn "Do you want to run in the rain to the car?" I am thinking here is our chance to kind of play in the rain. But even though she only has on her bathing suit and flip flops she says no because it is raining. I tell who cares because she has on her bathing suit (again pointing out the obvious). So we make a break for it. But I can't run in my flip flops since they are now really slippery and for fear of taking a very messy and potentially embarassing fall (not to mention the physical harm I would most likely due to myself), we walk sort of run through the rain.

We were so soaking wet our hair was dripping on our faces, our clothes (really my clothes) were sticking to our bodies, my mascara is running down my face, and we are laughing. We get in the car and drive the 2 minutes home. It was actually fun...

My husband says, "how did you get so wet". I look at him with a duh face and say it rained when we got to swimming lessons and then it was cancelled. He didn't think we were going.
I am glad we did just for the funny story.

Then this morning I go to work. When I get out of the car I can't figure out why the back of my clothes feel damp. Then I remember and hope that they are not so damp that people think that I either was so sweaty from the drive that my clothes are wet or that I wet my pants. Either way not good visual. So I pray I feel it more than people can see it and walk to work. *I work downtown so I have to park in a parking garage then walk a little ways to get to our building*

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

I realize it is only July. But I have officially started my shopping. Now I have to make my lists and check them twice (or really more often).

I LOVE Christmas. It is my favorite holiday. And I DO BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS!

It is such a chaotic time of year for us since between November 29th and January 11th we have at least 7 birthdays as well as Christmas. Two of those are my husband and daughter which are both the week before Christmas. But that is all ok.

I buy way too much stuff but I find such great deals I can't help it. The kids we buy for love it since I spend a set amount for each of the kids and they get as much as I can get for that amount of money. The younger ones really make out since their stuff is cheaper.

Oh. Yes. I am one of those crazy people who are waiting in line outside in the freezing cold, hopefully not raining or snowing, day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday. I search the net the weeks prior for the leaked lists of what the sale items will be. I carefully look through the ads and plan my attack. Oh the rush......

Ahhh. I love Christmas!

Now don't get me wrong. I am not all about the sensationalism but what I do love is the family (most of them anyway) getting together, church, and the excuse to do things or get things for others that you wouldn't normally. I love to bake cookies and stay home with my daughter.

She gets so excited to see Santa and do Santa related stuff. To go see Christmas lights. To turn on our lights. I decorate before Thanksgiving and have a strict rule that the lights do not get turned on until the day after Thanksgiving. The stay on until New Year's Day. Then they come down and I get sad about it. I love cutting down our tree and decorating the house. I love to see Jaclyn's face when we leave the cookies and milk out for Santa. And then when she wakes up Christmas morning. I take my camera to my room so that as soon as she wakes up it is at my finger tips. I video tape and take pictures of her sleepy head. Last year her and I even had matching Christmas nightgowns.

I think this love of the holiday started when I was little. My grandparents used to do a big Christmas thing. I spent a ton of time with them at their house throughout the year and I know I have several things I love that I can attribute to this. I miss my Grammy terribly since she passed away several years ago. I go through cycles that I miss her more than others. Right now I am really really really missing her. I will never bake anything without thinking of her. My grandfather, Poppy, is still alive and fairly well at age 92. But he is starting to really show signs of his age. He doesn't live near us so we don't get to see him too often. I will get to see him this Saturday for about an hour. I wish it was longer but I will take what I can get. I am trying to take all of his pictures and put them in a scrapbook to give back to him on Saturday. Most of it is very simple since I do not know the stories behind the photos but I am hoping he will write them down or have my aunt do it before he leaves us. He has great stories and it makes me sad if no one will be able to pass those on.

What's Up

Not much here.

Pretty boring day.

Hopefully stays that way.

At least as far as work is concerned.

I heard from my SIL that my daughter fell and hit her chin on the edge of the bed today. She thinks it will be black and blue by the time I get out of work. I hope it isn't too sore. Poor thing. She is lucky she didn't bite her tongue or break a tooth. See apparantly she was jumping on the bed and was told to stop. But you see jumping on a water bed is just too much fun and therefore she chose to continue with her reckless behavior and refused to believe you can get hurt doing such a task.

Well,,,,,

She got hurt. So hopefully no more jumping on the bed. Well at least until tomorrow. She has a short memory for things she was told not to do. She is strictly forbidden from bed jumping at home. And couch jumping. And really from anything fun. he he

She really isn't allowed to jump on the couch or bed but it is hard to stay mad (even though I put on my most serious mean mom face) because I know we have all done our share of bed jumping. It is a right of childhood to jump on a few beds. Because before you know it we are grown ups and can't have any fun at all. ;-)

Next is playing in the rain.....

If only it wouldn't thunder storm at the same time.

Gotta Love a Great Deal

I went to the Children's Place Outlet near-ish to my house on Saturday.

Let me just say "OH MY GOODNESS DID I CLEAN UP!!!"

I bought so much stuff and it cost so little. I usually figure out what I paid and what I should have paid if I bought if full price. I just haven't had a chance to do that yet. I will though.

I even got stuff for my neices and nephew for Christmas. I had to. I got their jeans for $3.99 or less. Of course they didn't have the cute sparkly and such jeans on sale. But who cares when kids go through clothes so quickly.

I had to buy the cutest girly dress for Lauri's daughter and it was so cheap I had to share the price with her.

I told my husband I would have to go back again since I didn't have enough time to truly figure out stuff for gifts.

I would like to say that was the highlight of my evening but that wouldn't be fair to all of the other stuff.

My husband and his partner came in 3rd place at his fishing tournament. That was awesome since that means he won some cash.

The BBQ we went to was fun. Jaclyn would have had more fun had I brought her bathing suit but such is life. I didn't know and she survived. She was happy enough having on a dress and her hair in pigtails.

Sunday was fairly uneventful. We just hung out mostly at home and had fun there.

So here it is Monday again and I can't wait for Saturday. That means no work and staying home. At least for the weekend. I am wishing away my days. Sad I know.

Just a Quickie

Not that kind.....

Anyway, only have a few minutes this morning. Sooo very many things to do and so little time. So far I have already washed 5 loads of laundry, vacummned the floor, use the floor cleaner to clean the carpet, and take a few minutes to do this.

As I type I am trying to not see the huge pile of scattered beads that are all over my spare bedroom floor. You see they were in a case about 10 minutes ago until my daughter tried to make a little more room on her table. Instead of putting her bead cases back on the shelf she just pushed them over and then off the table. And well picture little tiny beads of all sorts of colors and shapes piling up in a big mess. So as far as I am concerned, at least for another minute, there is no mess. She is trying to clean this up but I am afraid she is more playing with the mess than truly picking them up.

Anyway, we have some playing to do outside on the new swingset. It is such a beautiful day we may even blow up her little pool and play in the water for a bit.

Then it will be lunch and shower time as we will then need to head out to the Children's Place Outlet. One of my favorite stores. I am truly hoping they have their summer clearance going on.

Then to my husband's fishing tournament. Hopefully he has a boat load (well 5 really big ones as that is the limit) of great big bass in the boat and wins lots of money. We shall see.

Then hurry home to change, gather stuff and go to our friend's party. They recently adopted the cutest little girl and this is her coming out party/bbq/I believe shower. I just hope we make it there since this actually starts prior to us getting home.

Anyway, off until tomorrow. Or possibly Monday.

Things I Ponder

Here are some things I ponder.

1) At what age do we start becoming so self conscience about our bodies. My daughter likes to wear certain clothes. Or wear her hair a certain way. Usually all, some or none in a ponytail. But as for worrying about how her legs look in a pair of pants or how big her tummy may look doesn't cross her mind. I wish we could all keep that perspective about ourselves and others as we get older. Because who really cares that someone else is wearing something that maybe she or he really shouldn't. (Ok. Well provided it is too sleazy. I do have my limits.) But if that person likes it who really cares. Does it really affect how my day will be?

2) Why or why does the person in the high speed lane on the freeway feel the need to go so slow. Or even dare I say it slower than traffic wants to move. Nobody says they have to go faster than they are commfortable with. Just move over. Why do they care so much to feel they are making a statement. THEY ARE NOT! They are just causing accidents. I watched a car in front of me try to slam on their brakes (apparantly they thought the car length in between us wasn't enough) to mess with me then realize that the car that had been between us moved over to go around. So she then proceeded to speed up to block that car from getting in front of her. The slowpoke ended up doing a little skidding to avoid the collision with the passing car. If the slowpoke didn't want to drive that fast why does she care so much that others do. She almost killed herself.

3) Why have I been sick at least once every month of 2006. Doesn't my body get it that I am tired of blowing my nose, caughing up a lung, and just generally feely like crap?! This has been seriously hindering my workout attempts. It does help to breath while working out. Just in case anyone thought differently.

4) Why can't I just win enough money in the lottery to quit my job and stay at home with my beautiful angel? I would find a way to give back. I promise.

5) Why must my MIL rearrange things in my house when she babysits my daughter. I know she is just trying to help but leave things where they are. I really do have good reasons why they are there.

6) Who decided in the "rule" book that women are the ones who have to cook and clean. Somewhere in history when women started working they should have revised the "rule" book.

7) How am I able to love my daughter so much. Truly more than words can describe. I can't imagine being able to do that so fully and devote so much to more than one child. I don't know that I could handle the stress of worrying about more than one child. I do not plan to have another because of this.

There are others but this is all I can think of at the moment.

CATCH UP

Sometimes I feel that is all I do.

So let me catch up on this blog. I think I fall behind since I don't think anyone would notice. So please if you are out there and reading this let me know. Maybe that will help me stay on track.

In the past week and a half we have been busy busy busy.

I picked up the swingset I had in layaway at Walmart much to my husband's dismay. He was thoroughly against this swingset but I pushed forward and got it. You see he likes the grass just so. A swingset disrupts this process ruining the grass and making it much more difficult to cut. While I say a backyard is to be enjoyed. She will only be a kid once and what does it hurt to allow her to play in our backyard since we don't often make it to the park.

So I picked it up on a Saturday evening and then the trouble started. It is a wooden swingset and needs to be built. I get home after they load up the two boxes in the back of my van (that doesn't have stow and go seating and therefore requiring me to take out the 2 seats and then lift and put them back in). The one box seems to be sealed and the other.... Well let's just say it wasn't sealed. In fact when he pulled it out you could see the slide was cracked. UGH. So I called right and told them about the slide but that I wouldn't be able to open everything and check it out for a couple of days possibly. I got up early the next morning (Sunday) and decided to start to lay everything out to see. Well we have a new undamaged slide as well as the broken one. Also a bunch of other duplicates but NO wood.

So I call Walmart again and speak to a manager and explain everything. She said she would see if they have anything else there. They didn't. She said I can return it. I asked what about getting them to ship me one from the website. They said I would have to do that on my own. I said I wouldn't do that since then I would have to pay an extra $150 in shipping. I asked what about any other stores. She called me back and said she could get another one from another store near her house (on the other side of town) and would bring it to her store (near me). So it was a plan. On Monday I take the seats out of the van again and head back up to the store. The manager loads only 1 of the boxes as her vehicle wasn't large enough to bring them both at the same time. She said she will bring it on Wednesday. OK.

I call her on Wednesday since I only had a small window to go to the store that day(so to be pro active I removed the seats in the van before work after dropping off my daughter). She says she had a flat tire and wasn't sure when she could bring it. Bummer. But she is helping me so I tell her to let me know when she does since I probably can't start working on it until the weekend anyway. She calls me on Thursday and says she brought it to the store and I can pick it up from layaway as she is leaving for the day. So I hurry up and take the seats out of the van again and rush up there since I don't want this box to get lost. Luckily there was no lines at layaway and this gets put in my van pretty quickly. I go home and add this to the growing mound of boxes in my driveway. They don't want any of the broken parts/extras back since they will just have to throw them away. So I had said I would just trash them at home to save everyone some extra time and trouble.

Along comes Saturday and we didn't have time to try to start this project.

On Sunday the fun begins. Now my husband is not the best when trying to do a "project". Especially one he didn't want in the first place. Next thing we know our neighbors from across the street come over and say they went and got one also from another farther store and are going to be building theirs at the same time. They came over to compare notes since our directions were a little bit different.

We were off to a good start when the sky decided it was time for us to take a break and thunderstorm for a couple of hours. That did not help us. So I started making the chocolate chip cookies I needed to bring for the 4th and of course the rain stopped. I put the baking on hold and we went back out to build some more. We got the entire fort piece built by 7pm and decided to call it a day. All that was left was the actual swing area with jungle gym bars.

Monday we had to work so we tried to finish but my precious little girl decided to tell her daddy a lie about knowing how to use the brakes on her bicycle so he stopped working on the swingset. Much to her dismay. Let's hope she learns her lesson about lying.

Tuesday was a full day and another post about the 4th. We got home around 6pm and finished the job. So now we have a fully functional fort/swingset with rock climbing wall and slide in our backyard. YEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Jaclyn is sooooooo excited. Even in her sleepy head one of the first things she asked was if she could play on it when we get home after work. Poor thing. I had to tell her maybe since we have to go to swimming lessons first. But she can after that.

Here is to fun in the backyard and no injuries....

RECITAL

My girl was the cutest Sugar Plum Fairy ever if I must say so myself.

I was so nervous for her before her first performance Friday night. She was just excited and not the least bit nervous. Good for her. I hope she keeps that self confidence (without being cocky) throughout her life. We did her hair in the obligatory ballerina bun. Did her makeup with lavender eye shadow with glitter, sparkly pink lip gloss and sparkly hair spray. She loves that she is allowed to wear makeup for recital. Normally she is only allowed to wear her lip gloss.

She is such a girlie girl who also loves to be active in sports. But she won't play in her little tykes playhouse too often, though. When I ask her why she says it needs to be cleaned out. But then when clean she says it still has too many bugs in it. Oh well. She will touch a worm though.
Which is more than I can say for myself.

She already wants to know when she can go on stage again. Have I mentioned I love this girlie girl?!

SUGAR PLUM FAIRY

Yes, it is true. My daughter is a Sugar Plum Fairy in her ballet recital this weekend. The first show is tonight. I am so excited. I hope she remembers her dance and does well up on stage.
They look so darn cute!!

And yes it is also true that I will be the proud mama in the back crying. I am a sap but I can't help it. My little girl is growing so fast...

WHY DO PEOPLE TICK ME OFF PART 2

Well the vet will soon be history. I was so angry on Tuesday after I talked to them, my face was bright red and hot to the touch.

Let me backtrack a bit.

I called around noon to check on my dog. To see how it went, see how he did and all that good stuff. I was greeted with an attitude again. Was told they haven't seen him yet. I asked why not and was told they were not able to get him out of the cage. Now that has never been a problem before but whatever. She said she would call when he is done (with a don't call us we will call you attitude). I told her I would probably call back later to check anyway.

So I get a phone call around 1:15ish. The attitude is now sweeter than pie saying they are almost done and he should be ready to be picked up at 2:30. I say ok and that my MIL will be picking him up for us.

I get another sweeter than pie phone call at 2:20ish saying he is all done and can be picked up. Again I say my MIL is coming and that I told her about 2:30 so she should be there soon.

I then get a voice mail message from my MIL around 3:00 saying they are at our house and he is fine and cut short. BUT the total was $121.25.

WHAT!!!! I was expecting at most $75-$80. ($35 max (per attitude) for the grooming since we paid $30 last time, $20 additional sedation (per attitude), heartworm test I requested which I knew was $20 something. My mother in law took a check I signed and paid the balance when she picked him up.

So I call the vet's office and speak to Carol (front desk lady) who runs through the charges with me:
$40 grooming
$40 sedation
$25 heartworm test
$16.25 immunization shot due in August

I tell her that is not the amounts I was told earlier in the morning. I asked if I needed to speak to Marilyn (attitude) and she just transferrs me without warning. I told her that I didn't understand the charges and why they were so much more than she told me when I asked in the morning. We were going round and round. She was just trying to cover her ass and say she said it would be at least those amounts but it could be more. Bull. So I asked her who I needed to talk to about this and she said no-one. I asked her to transfer me back to Carol so I can ask her who I need to talk to. Before I know it the vet who owns the place was on the phone.

I am already not a big fan of this vet. I much prefer the other one that works in the office. We already feel he messed up my dog's surgery which resulted in him needed a second one a month later (which we had the other vet do). He gets bladder stones and needs to be on a prescription diet and take pills to balance the acid level in his urine. Maybe that is too much info but sorry.

Anyway, he gets on the phone with an attitude with me. I try to explain to him what is going on, why I am upset. All he can do is argue with me. So the more he tries to argue the more ticked I get. I am not one to start a fight but I also won't back down when I am dealing with the service we receive. I am firm believer you catch more bees with honey but sometimes you need the bug spray. In the end he said he would comp me the $5 difference from the grooming since he told this new groomer not to raise her prices more than $5 every 6 months and if I only paid $30 last time I shouldn't have paid $40 this time. But still argues the other $20 difference and the fact that he gave a shot without my consent (trying to save me another $25 by not having to bring him back in August). Ok fine but ask me first. He has no idea what my financial situation is and if I have the extra cash this time. So like I said he just continued to frustrate me with his attitude. So he finally says "I will comp you the $20 from the sedation but then I don't want you as a client".

WHAT THE H---!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been going to this vet for 9 years and this is the thanks I get for it. I have only had 2 problems in that whole time and each time this vet is so unprofessional and unkind that this was the straw that broke the yorkie's back.

So I called my SIL's vet and I will try there. I called them yesterday and they were very nice. I told them that he can be a biter and that we need prescription food and pills for him monthly. I wanted to make sure I could get another vet to provide the care we need before I told my current vet to pound salt. I had left it as I would let them know because I had to seriously think about that comment he made. But I was just buying time to contact someone else.

I wonder what has happened to the customer service in this day and age. And since when is an overcharge the customer's fault. I just feel if this is the way he wants to run his business I do not want to give him anymore of my money. He already has tons of it.

I am very sad about this and feel like this vet has completely betrayed us but just writing us off. We could have resolved this issue even if he ended up not giving us our money back but he had such a bad attitude right off the bat that he threw away any chance of having a positive outcome. Even though I don't want to support a person like this it is hard. Our dog is like our child and it is a bit scary to try somewhere new. But I am determined to get through my fear and hopefully we will all be better off for it.

Hang in there bud, we will make sure you are well taken care of.

WHY DO PEOPLE TICK ME OFF

Why can't things ever go smoothly. It should have been fairly simple.

All I wanted to do is have my dog groomed. He is small but does have a reputation for being fierce. He is a Yorkie for goodness sake so his bite is defintely small. Okay so no bite is small but still. My vet office knows him well. Knows how he is. They have given us some medication to give him before he comes in to calm him down. Now keep in mind he is the sweetest thing and would lick you to death if he could. But just don't try to do anything to him. He won't be bullied.

So I do as I am told and give him his sedation pill 1-2 hours prior to his appointment. I need to go to work so my MIL takes him to the office promptly at 9:00 as instructed. She gets attitude from the new groomer's helper. I called the office just to make sure we are all on the same page on how we want him cut. He doesn't like to be brushed so we try to keep his fur fairly short as if he were a puppy. I tell them he is sedated and want to know when they expect him to be done.
She then tells me she isn't sure. There are 9 animals to be groomed today and don't expect to hear from them before 3pm.

WHAT!!!!

I brought him in sedated and now you are telling me you won't take him first. If he needs to be sedated again it will cost me an additional $20.

I DON'T THINK SO!!

So I am fully prepared to call the office around noon and find out the scoop. If they needed to give him additional sedation because they took too long to get to him I will have to voice my frustration. I love my vet's office and I have never had a problem like this before.

So now I am on ticked off mode until they change it.

STRANGE SKY

Yesterday when I left my desk the sky was bright and sunny. By the time I got down the elevators and to the front door of our office building the sky was a little less bright. By the time I got to my car and started driving the sky was very strange indeed.

The clouds looked like they were moving over the city like the alien ships did in the movie Independence Day. These clouds chased me home and opened up just as I got in the house.

So much for swimming lessons. It stormed just long enough to have them cancelled. Jaclyn was so upset. But we will try again today and it is supposed to be a beautiful day today.

MONDAY MORNING MELTDOWN

This Monday morning did not start well. Let me set the stage....

To get my daughter to my SIL's house in the mornings means I need to travel 15 minutes further east before turning around and heading west into our downtown area for work. This is about a 30-40 minute trip altogether. So when I went to get on the freeway this morning and I saw that heading west was at a stand still where it usually is not I knew I was in for a long drive.
You see it rained this morning and that always means someone can't remember how to drive in the rain which results in accidents and long traffic tie ups. Now of couse one of the accidents was on the opposite side of the freeway but we need to stop to make sure we get a good look at the crash. And if we are lucky we may see some blood and gore. What did you say? You can hear the sarcasm in my voice? Who me????

Why oh why did I ever dream of working downtown??

I was once a foolish high school student who thought "how cool would it be to work downtown where there is always things happening!!!"
Now I dream of winning the lottery but why doesn't that dream come true? Even when I do play?

And yes I was late to work which means no real full lunch hour for me. I just can't seem to get with the program today.

OH HAPPY DAY

Today is my anniversary. 6 years. It is the first anniversary where I can truly say at this time we were saying our vows or taking pictures or drinking the juice. We were married on a Friday. It was great. I am so glad we didn't have the traditional Saturday wedding. We had an extra day for our honeymoon and I wouldn't trade that at all.

Oh course my girl feels this is her special day since it is the day she graduates from Safety Town.

So Happy Anniversary to me and my hubby and Happy Graduation Day to my girl!

NEW MOMMY

A friend has been pondering why she hasn't been the super mommy she thought she would be. I think as much as we would all like to believe we would never do certain things we all do things we never thought we would. There is no such thing as a "super mom". We all do the best we can. At least all of us that truly enjoy and want to be moms. I know there are plenty out there that do the bare minimum but I am not going to comment on those right now.

But all this pondering has made me remember that 1st night at the hospital after giving birth. I wanted to keep the baby in my room with me. So when she woke up in the middle of the night I had a bit of a panic attack.

What do I do with her?

I know she needs to be fed and have her diaper changed. I have babysat plenty of times so it wasn't as if I had never done these things. But how do I know which to do right away? How do I know what she wants or needs?

It was a little disconcerting at first. But I did the best I could and changed her diaper (which was so very small). And I fed her. Truthfully at this point I am not sure in which order but both were done and she fell back asleep.

After that I knew there was no manual or help at all hours. That I had to trust myself and do the best I can in that moment and all would be ok.

I know I have had moments that were less than perfect but she tells me "your the best mommy!" and that is all I can ask for. And I tell her she is my "best girl".

I love her more than words. I tell her that every night and someday I hope she fully understands the depth of that simple phrase.

Great Weekend

I had a great last weekend. On Saturday we went to dance class and the fishing tournament to see how J did. Other than that we just hung out. Then on Sunday Jaclyn and I washed the van while J did some yard work. We ate lunch outside. And it was really nice. The weather was warm enough to wash the van without being cold but it wasn't so hot that you couldn't stand to be outside.

It is days like these that I just wish we could freeze frame.

This next weekend looks to be a lot warmer so maybe we will go to the sprinkler park. That is provided the veil of sickness leaves our house.

SICKNESS

Oh Man. Now I am sick. It started yesterday afternoon and by night time I was done. I think my nose is trying to run a few marathons today and soon I will have to take kleenex from my co-workers. Calgon take me away.....

CRAZY WEEK

What a crazy week it has been. My poor baby was sick. She had a fever from Thursday (6/1) evening through Monday (6/5). So that was the first trip to the doctors office. Basically sent us on our way saying it was something viral and definitely not bacterial. So off we went minus the $15 copay.

Then come Wednesday evening I see her covered in red splotchy spots with bumps that look like little blisters. UGH. So I know she was at the park during the day and then at my MIL's house and behind her garage. What are these spots??

So off we go to the urgent care since it is now 8:30 at night and I have no idea what poison ivy or any other rash looks like. We wait 30 minutes. Not really that long considering where we are. The doctor sees us and doesn't really take a full history (as far as I am concerned) and sends us on our way dismissing it as hives and they will go away. He asks me "does that sound ok?"

WHAT! Does that sound ok? How do I know. That is why I am here. But like a good lemming I leave and go home again minus my $15 copay. In my mind I am thinking these hives will be gone in the morning. She isn't really complaining of anything else. They don't really itch her so ok.

Here it is Thursday morning and what do I see but more hives in different spots. So I take her to my SIL's house who watches her during the day and she calls me around mid morning and says they are all gone. Meanwhile I talked to the nurse at her regular doctor's office who explains things a little better and they can last for about a week. So I feel more at ease with the unknown hives.

Then it is 1:30 Thursday afternoon and here comes another phone call from my SIL who says they are now all over her face. So I call the doctors office back again and we make an appointment for 4:00 that day. By the time I pick her up they are gone from her face but fear not they were all over her body again by the time we were at the doctors office and more came out while there. Again another $15 copay but at least this one came with some better explanations and put me more at ease again.
Definitely Not -
from a bug bite
from a new food
from poison ivy
from new soap
from anything new that we can think of

Probably from the illness we were there about just a few days before. They gave me samples of Benadryl to give her to help the hives go away. She still wasn't really itchy and didn't really have any other symptoms.

So here we are today and she is basically fine. Just a few hives left and a somewhat stuffy nose and a little cough. I can deal with that...

BUT I just got done working out and taking a shower and I think I see some hives on me. OH NO> Here we go again.

TERRIBLE 3'S

Who ever said it was the terrible 2's. I think 3 was much worse. And I think it was/is a conspiracy to not let new parents know that 2 is easy in comparison to 3. You come out of 2 and think this wasn't so bad. What is everybody talking about. And then SMACK right into the attitude wall.

At 2 my girl was still my sweet baby. Don't get me wrong she had a mind of her own but it wasn't such a struggle. For example she didn't want out of her crib so we left her in there until she turned 3. And then we only moved her to a big girl bed just because.

At 3 she started off just fine and then one day without warning the head spun and out came this sassy, smart mouthed, making faces and comments behind my back, stubborn child with my girl's sweet face. I would think where oh where has she gone.

So I went through several different options of discipline trying to find one that would work. We have used hot sauce on the tongue (which was really wostershire until she discovered she liked it on steak so we had to switch to true hot sauce), standing in the corner with her nose pressed into it, taking something away, butt smacks (or even just the threat of a butt smack), screaming as loud as I can, to practically whispering to make her try hard to hear what I had to say. At some points I would give her 3 choices from the above list and ask her which one she wanted. Of course she would usually pick the corner. And of course she would want to sit but the meanie that I am made her stand quietly with the nose pressed into the corner. It seemed to help and we still use that one to this day. And I only need to say either do --------- or go stand in the corner. It is your choice.

This has been hard for me because I hate to be the bad guy but I don't want her to be the girl going hog wild in the future. I have always told her that I still love her even if I am mad. Plus I tell her it is my job to punish her if she doesn't do her job of listening as a kid. I think she thinks I am crazy sometimes and I probably am but don't tell anyone.

At 4 we still battle but it does seem to be less and less. I had to start a sticker calendar just for bedtimes because each night was so bad. We had to stop having her little cousin sleep over because my girl was not listening at bedtime. It started that she would get a prize after 5 stickers in a row. This has really REALLY seemed to work. We have now had 2 months of only stickers and no black X's. We have extended it to 7 in a row now. And if she has thoughts of going crazy all I need to say is "Do you want an X or a sticker? If you want a sticker you better settle down and stay in this bed." And do you know what happens? IT WORKS! Who would have thought this possible a few months ago when she was getting more X's than stickers.

My girl is so strong and I admire her for that. I try to let her express herself as much as possible as long as it is in a polite manner because I love that she thinks for herself and has such a strong will. (Even when it is making me crazy).

I love my girl more than she will ever know.

THE LIMO

I have to go back to May 18th and the funeral. This side of my family is very small so we were all able to fit in the funeral limo. Which included my daughter.

Well she just thought this was the coolest thing. She didn't need to wear her seat belt or be in her car seat. She sat on my lap and was riding backwards and there were so many people in there and on and on it went.

So this morning she sees a limo parked and comments on this again. So I ask her what about it. And she of course replies "it's cool".

We are so in trouble when she gets older...

JUNE 1ST

I can't believe it is June 1st already. May flew by so quickly. But I have to say I had a great Memorial Day weekend. Saturday was uneventful but then Sunday and Monday were so much fun with my Babe. We found out our local sprinkler park was open which was a great thing since the temperatures were unseasonably high at 90 degrees. So I put her bathing suit on her and we went and had fun in the water. We were splashing each other and just have a great time. We ate lunch on the patio and relaxed when we needed to. We went for ice cream one evening and just all around bonded as we can do so easily.

I hope the day never comes where she doesn't like to hang out with her mom. I sure do love hanging out with her!

NEWBIE

I am new to this blogging. I like it, though. I like the thought of being able to say whatever I feel that day and get it out. I am a very private person by nature and don't talk a lot to the people I am close with about what goes on deep inside. But this also scares me a little. I think what if people really knew how I felt, would they think less of me? Hopefully not but I always wonder. I am trying really hard to post often and honestly. We will see what happens.